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Alone

Damn you all to hell and back
I never really awoke
sleep toiled my night
I couldn't face the day
an eternal space in front of me

Crippling thoughts abounded
All truth just stung.
Everything was gone
what else could there be
A life without you
Nothing left for me

Time you say, just let it go
All those stupid words
from others only made it true
I didn't want to exist without you
Just leave me, don't you see?
I find nothing is fair to me.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Just a fiction write..
Editing stage: 

Comments

This maybe a fictional write but there is a vein of emotion that runs through this one, maybe some old emotions came to the surface in this one, I really felt sad reading it, you know even though I go to ground sometimes I am always with you in spirit, you are one of my favourite people after all :)

with all my love Jayne xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Lovely to see you here, we miss your interaction, and just you.
You can never reach my years without knowing of times where things are not good and you could rip the sun out of the sky.
But now it is fiction to me and have to rely on memory a little lol
I think the worse I became was when I wrote Shadow days but that was 15 years ago.
Thank you so much for your visit take your time in coming back to us here there is no hurry, I will give you a day or so..
Take care, and know we care, Yours Ian.T and the Children

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

"Shadow Days"

I have walked in days just gone by,
that threw all sorts of shadows at my feet.
The sun felt cool as did the world,
was this all my feelings now that it was getting cool.

Why did the others that held my hand in times gone by,
leave me in this time,
I wonder why.

So it came to me as I looked around,
at the long shadows on the ground.
That most of them were cast,
by the things that were behind me.
This made the path ahead shine with hope,
that I could once again see.

I still have to find these things,
I have been looking with eyes closed.
The world will not show its self
to those who close their eyes

To feel the world and not see,
is only half of what should be.
So I have opened my eyes at the way ahead,
there are many things that held my gaze before,
A new life and people knocking at my door.

As though in the autumn of my years,
is this now a time for rebirth to try new things.
Adorning myself in a new coat,
to fend of the breath of winter to come,
I will go forward now and seek out fun,
As the autumn does not last long for some.

If I see you there in the autumn of my years,
think of things now or then in past times.
Realise that it is better to be.
Than to wait to see,
if the world will come knocking on your door

Believe it is your life for evermore

Yenti

This was written in 1999 in a nasty garbage flat, after 36 years of a marriage ended, I suppose that was one of the days I thought about getting back into life lol.

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

I see people sell themselves short all the time, maybe they have their expectations too high.

Haw about a swap?

'I find that nothing to me is fair'.

to
I find nothing is fair to me.

seems to roll with the stanza.

In ink,
David

Thank you for your visit, I did the swap thanks it helped.
Take care and great to walk with you,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

You have captured the way I suspect I'd feel if Susan left before I did. One alternative : try Left nothing for me.........stan

Thank you for coming to see me here, I think that women usually outlive us as they know we may not be able to cope without them.
Enjoy all those things you have they are a blessing, and you have the added ability to write, how can we ever grasp the wonderful things we have here, they are too many.
Take care, and our love to you both, that you may look at each other with open eyes, Yours, Ian & Anne

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

many won't know
till they know what when went wrong
1999 was a long time ago
but to one who has visioned...
it seems just like yesterday,,,
I have a friend who in your position ,similar one ,does lay
but you are stronger anyway
many are simply hollow /shallow
by the way..

post this second one of yours in stream today
after 23 hours they all say

loved

1999 I remember it well I had been married for around 36 years and it just disintegrated, I was at that time in a 1 roomed stinky flat in Cornwall, apart from that everything was fine.
OK I can talk more about it now but that was a bit of a lonely time of my life, I have since recovered, as I haven't written another piece for today and I am running late as usual, I will do as you suggest, thanks young Bard for the visit, I will procure the best tea for you and set it out in my Royal Albert China, But you don't have to hurry lol, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

sip your tea
as sip I ,my wine
then somewhere along the Thames
we may dine
you pay my bill
I'll pay thine
you will have to suffer a heavier bill
as i love red wine
and white tea
I will bring along with me
from some China stall selling tea ,
its almost free
as those guys hate duplication
a one time usage is their aim.

You may perhaps
be having two cups to sip
insipid no!

loved

I have here at home
A double handled cup
This is so you don't drink alone
This is for a third party
Whose inability to lift a cup
Is because too much red
they have supped.
It takes practice to use
But have to wait for the tea
To brew or infuse
One each side it takes
To allow the third party
Some tea to intake
But I hope that we don't make
A mistake in doing so
Or off to hospital they will go.
I await your sojourn
But much money you must earn
As sometimes I can eat a horse
But that's when
I shop at Tesco's of course.
Take care young Bard and have a great day,
Yours Ian.Tea "whoops typo"

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

My constant companion yet nemesis all the same...i agree with Jaynes that even though this is Fiction, the element of emotion is very real and strong. Good write.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

You girls are always sticking together,
You will all have me on an emotional oasis,
Who will rescue me then lol.
I shall be disguised as a jelly some place.
I see Nevermore has been to a cook up on the beach the other day.
Watch out that Alid is after us, he hasn't got a cat in hells chance, we is the random factor of this big universe.
Keep on Killing lol, Yours as always Digit's keeper.xx

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Nevermore is thinking...does she dare returning?? There are alot of emotions to express. ...maybe it is time

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Young Nevermore, now she is made, belongs to us all, and is a welcome addition to our ways.
I only found Digit due to Nevermore and Killer, but it is written now so the words are out there in the Ether, I was going to kill Digit off but He had to come to the States to meet the other two lol, they are part of the whole, I wonder what they talked about that evening on that beach lol.
We have a variety of things to write about, I must find something to catch my pen with, any thoughts???
Take care young Lady will talk again soon, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Nevermore has been feeling quite numb. There have been a lot of things going on in her life that has not only kept her away from Neopoet but kept her away from other things as well. She is slowly getting her feet on the ground and working her way back. She appreciates you and Digit looking in on her during these difficult times. She is glad to know there are friends like you two out there. Let her think a bit and maybe she can come up with some ideas over the weekend!! Take care and you know where to find us....

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Ian , you express a truth that touches all of us. Not a fiction for some of us. The pain and loneliness are unbearable and the memory always lurks in some dark corner,

Well written,

Cornwall doesn't seem bad to me...I'd rather be there right now than here.:)

Joe

Thank you for your visit.
I know your loneliness has been held in your vision for many a time, most of us have fleeting glimpses of it as if a shadow has passed over us, never think that the duration is of importance, it is that we all feel it at some time.
It presses us down so hard, I hope that all may find a way of lifting the shadow to live again even if only for that fleeting moment,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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