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all for love

Submitted by lovedly on Fri, 2015-07-24 13:49

She yearns for L O V E

Your first love....
As you say
has gone away....
left you loving astray.....

recalling on hay!
have another one from today...
so many loves in this poem...
read by so many
just ...do away

love is sweet
when you say
love me just once

but love be true o boy
what a lovely joy

what will I ever do without you?
You alone are my life long beau

My sweetest heart
''I love you...'''

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

alidzain

Fri, 2015-07-24 17:27

alidzain's picture

and yet very likeable. hmm though I wonder what Stan would say about repeating the ''love'' word many times.

Alid

lovedly

Fri, 2015-07-24 18:44

lovedly's picture

love
..love
......love ,,,,
love
....loveeeee
hence birth of ma poem
Stan will LOVE it
OOOO LOVE

author comment

Sparrow

Fri, 2015-07-24 19:00

Sparrow's picture
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Loved the love, where love seemed to love itself.
Love is supreme love is pure love is just love.
Now Unconditional love is another love, this love is eternally loved, a spiritual thing loved by all in love with all,
Yours loved, love, Ian..Lol
Lots of Love
NO it's Lots of Laughs
Ask our PM

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

lovedly

Fri, 2015-07-24 21:49

lovedly's picture

Love is your love... by this Loved
all is love
even when one is harsh
love is meant to convey happiness
all its lovely way
but when one repeats
love, love and love
again and again
it places on one’s mind
a damn strain

does he love me?
alas in vain
none the less
loves come in
let it flow from without to within

love is he who is lovely
and loved by this sweet bard
called Lovedly

can you still, love this egoistic
self seeking one
Jess may call a bastard
whiner
what the fucks
wants this loved one
only love
like an eight year old damsel
with legs above
as says my master’s voice
love now you may rejoice.

author comment

weirdelf

Sat, 2015-07-25 17:12

weirdelf's picture
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One of your worst and badly written.

Repetetition can be effective, but not the word 'love'. it is almost as bad as the word 'beautiful'.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

lovedly

Sat, 2015-07-25 19:40

lovedly's picture

the gal repeated love 27 times in 17 lines
i twisted her for doing it
Jess u re read it

author comment
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