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AGUA

AGUA

você é agua
caindo por entre
os dedos.
rio fugindo
não sabendo
onde se parar

WATER

You are water
Falling
Between my fingers
A river fleeing
Not knowing
Where
To stop

Editing stage: 

Comments

C'est tout. Anni

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Muito obrigado, minha boa amiga

author comment

I lied when I said I'll never comment again.

This is what you are capable of. All it ever took was getting off the subject of *I*, a whole new world opens within *you*.

Simply, wonderful mastery in so few eloquent and elegant lines. (And in Portuguese too!.)

Congratulations!

~A

I FORGIVE YOU. All it took was being dumped for "
lesser god", to boot !

author comment

but the english has a japanese elegance and purity [grins]

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I thought no one would pick up on that. Kudos to you. Translation doesn't have to be liteeral, but cadence needs to be close. I like my new poetry

author comment

Oh I did Joe.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

There's the art of subtlety in Haiku.

~Ac

I honestly ddn' t know this was HAKKU. wanted it to be fast and furous like a ragng rveer running underground.

author comment

It should not be over explained
as it has its own impetus
within our minds,
its own message
that takes us along with its falling water.
Anni

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

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