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AGUA
AGUA
você é agua
caindo por entre
os dedos.
rio fugindo
não sabendo
onde se parar
WATER
You are water
Falling
Between my fingers
A river fleeing
Not knowing
Where
To stop
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Comments
Nordic cloud
Fri, 2012-03-02 02:22
Superb
C'est tout. Anni
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Geremia
Fri, 2012-03-02 05:19
Muito obrigado, minha boa
Muito obrigado, minha boa amiga
author commentKailashana2
Fri, 2012-03-02 06:09
I lied when I said I'll never
I lied when I said I'll never comment again.
This is what you are capable of. All it ever took was getting off the subject of *I*, a whole new world opens within *you*.
Simply, wonderful mastery in so few eloquent and elegant lines. (And in Portuguese too!.)
Congratulations!
~A
Geremia
Fri, 2012-03-02 06:43
I FORGIVE YOU. All it took
I FORGIVE YOU. All it took was being dumped for "
lesser god", to boot !
author commentweirdelf
Fri, 2012-03-02 06:29
Again I lament my linguistic ignorance
but the english has a japanese elegance and purity [grins]
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Geremia
Fri, 2012-03-02 06:37
I thought no one would pick
I thought no one would pick up on that. Kudos to you. Translation doesn't have to be liteeral, but cadence needs to be close. I like my new poetry
author commentNordic cloud
Fri, 2012-03-02 12:34
Oh I did Joe.
Oh I did Joe.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Kailashana2
Fri, 2012-03-02 07:01
There's the art of subtlety
There's the art of subtlety in Haiku.
~Ac
Geremia
Fri, 2012-03-02 08:41
I honestly ddn' t know this
I honestly ddn' t know this was HAKKU. wanted it to be fast and furous like a ragng rveer running underground.
author commentNordic cloud
Fri, 2012-03-02 12:37
It should not be over
It should not be over explained
as it has its own impetus
within our minds,
its own message
that takes us along with its falling water.
Anni
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.