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Age wth Grace

Well we all have to age
some day
one day
but age we must gracefully
not many come to hold our hands
maybe contagious
may be you will seek
so stay afar
don't ever expect
you will have no disappointment said Buddha ere

but now a day’s who listens
one listener is rare
so I read you
I don't stare

I see myself like you without hair
eyes dark stark and bare
and look into the far depths of maddening darkness
but with no despair

I compose my thoughts like you do
We must age as you do...

So read my poem
MOM’S SMILES
She smiles still into my eyes
half a century gone by she smiles in anticipation
we may meet in the far corners of the universe
where we may retreat

alas we will never
but Hope lives on still
more in me than in her Will

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I like everything about it, it explains my life right now. (As far as mother is concerned, see my poem Ida at 96) The poem is gracefully stated. It is very focused. I also like the last line, the use of the Will, part of the passing of all the material on to the next generation.

Any editing? Reading a few times now the only time I stumble is with the words "ere" and "alas", which is for me to literary and archaic in a poem which is otherwise conversational and modern in tone, (or as one poet put it; The STANCE of the poem).

This is a very lovely work. I think you should be proud of it.

Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings

So kind of you two
both
Thank you two
and too

You make my week
and me
meek

alas and ere
I shall review
do suggest kindly

author comment

It is rhythmic and it flows quite unlike the others. Maybe it's the fact that the theme is strong, like Eumolpus said here. What struck me was this:

"and look into the far depths of maddening darkness
but with no despair"

I have looked into those depths, too, and I feel that you've put perfectly into words the essence of this experience. And "with no despair"? That's brave, that's the utter sign of maturity and wisdom - staring the desolate aspects of reality in the face, and accepting them as they are.

You really should be proud of this poem.

 

Love,
Steph

... to remember what it felt like to have my being set alight
beneath the moon when I was full and I was dancing with the night
when I could see beyond my sight
when I could see beyond my sight

So kind of you two
both
Thank you two
and too

You make my week
and me
meek

alas and ere
I shall review
do suggest kindly

author comment

As you think and write anew
many good comments will come to you
Lovely they say and well penned
let not this new trend end.
Have you read any of mine lately they are becoming rare..
Yours Ian, alone out there.
PS:- not sure if four words you have used should be two...may be and now a day’s, just maybe, nowadays has become a carnival of Spirits Joy, in reading again..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

I have been on high tide
these last ten days
no respite ABIDE
shall read

I read ur blog just yesterday
NO?

any more shall soonly

author comment

Hope the tide didn't wash you away,
Take care out there,
Yours Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

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