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AFRESH Jess Ian and Bard..

Whenever jess was annoyed at me
it was always Ian
who came to wipe my tears
always had held me in high esteem

he said wait for some time
he is in jungle boots
out to shoot
avoid him a while
just smile

You know now's my time
lilies are for mummies
do also include me ..
as a loving daddy

my young bard
you will just continue
to grow
by now all know

this small bard
has surfaced above the ocean
but the surf doesn't spare anyone

so one day soon enough
you'll come this way

Yes, I know my heart beat asks so
why do you want me to beat fast
how much more do you think
I shall last
so for yourself order lilies fast
'ere I finally blast
mid night past

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Sentimental Lilies are mostly for mummy...
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

This is a lament of times past. It makes me sad to know they aren't here anymore.

It's a comment poem. Have you ever thought? Instead of commenting these then posting as a poem? Save the comment for your poem and rewrite the comment. That was one of Jess's nags with you. Don't fall into bad habits. I won't yell at you or swear but I will push you to be better.

With love J x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

I will delete it

author comment

just think about it and rewrite it.

*hugs & love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

No never delete! But if you think a comment I'd good enough for a poem please copy it and rewrite the comment.

Hugs I know how you work never take a suggestion as criticism. I'll never swear at you but I will gently push you to be better Tata xxx

OK I am going back to sleep I woke up with this in my hand lol
.

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

will redo as advised

author comment

Thanks for liking my heart's beat running fastly
lol

author comment

A beautiful edit well done.

I'm chuffed and I know the elf would be too

Love J x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

sound the Siren

lovedly desires to meet ye elf

fix the

RV

author comment
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