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ON THE ACT OF STEAMING AWAY (October Contest)

ON THE ACT OF STEAMING AWAY

It’s the defiance toward a thing untenable
saying to the universe simply: “No More.”

What decision has been made
to stride towards a distant bright

It’s not the coldness inside turned from
just the darkness outside the door to protect the heart from

needing to protect the heart from that stabbing darkness outside
from pain’s window of careless acts derived from callous thought.

The changing from light, to the gloom of shade
striding thru the doorway away from words used in uncaring anger

what decision has been made
to stride towards that distant bright.

Where did the impetus begin
to find a solace in the remote

that place where few can touch the soaked bandages
distancing this from what darkens the thoughts and deeds.

What words are there
to place understanding into some warm glow

what decision has been made
to step away towards a distant bright, stormless place

from the relation untenable to the heart just now
away on some feathered wings into a warm halycon

there, some ease and comfort beckons.
No arrows in the dark night to dodge.

Hearing the laudable lady lodestar guiding
steering towards an outcome that benefits all concerned

that’s a decision that’s been made
to walk towards the distant, shimmering bright

and having the heart to face uncertainty
that to walk with a solid strength ‘way off into the distance.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
This edit was only in capitalizations
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Dear Ray I've just chosen a couple of stanza's that have truly captured me

It’s not the coldness inside turned from
Just the darkness outside the door to protect the heart from

What words are there
to place understanding into some warm glow

This is an utterly beautulul piece of writing sir, you have touched my heart today.

I guess all I can say is that one must hope that the door we go through is the right one and the window we open let's in the light. This is definately a winning poem, to me anyway.

Thank you...Teddy

T’was a grim day, that one, upon me:

author comment

yours is quite an interesting poem, and I have been faced with questions of uncertainty a good many times in my long life; somehow, the answers always revealed themselves--often too late, lol . You got yourself a winner, my friend, Jerry

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>Please visit my website: www.jerrykspoetry.com

It’s not the coldness inside turned from
Just the darkness outside the door to protect the heart from

while I read your poem// I too picked up these two lines
suggestion
with my hand on my heart
you may change
one from to form
which one to do
may set a poetic storm
I wonder if you'd ponder

pardon me for my blunder
pointing out asunder
lovedly too does often
off the point always wander

Glad you have enjoyed it

author comment
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