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ACORN

I was created this past spring
atop a tall and leafy thing.
By avoiding a late frost
neither I nor all my kin were lost.

Survival of my small drab flower
high up in this woody tower
led to my being pollinated
by pods that are most underrated.

By the time full leaf out came
I was ahead in this one game
to becoming more than just a nub
in the forest's central hub.

Summer rains came when needed.
Assuring farmers' prayers were heeded
and I took on my final look
in this summer sylvan nook.

Then the autumn came around
changing me from green to brown
lost among now vibrant leaf
numerous beyond belief.

I grew as frightened as could be
when a squirrel plucked me from my tree
was this the end of my short dream
to be eaten beside a small stream ?

To luck good I must be married
instead of eaten, I was buried.
My grave site was, by luck, forgotten
beneath the duff and leaves all rotten.

Here I rested through the cold
in rich humus warmed by mold
until the spring came back around
whose warmth stirred me in the ground.

So now I sprout out of my bed
above old leaves I raise my head
a new white oak sapling born
who will one day birth a small acorn.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

..this is a fine poem, in the "full circle" style, or realm! Totally enjoyed it. But, "underrated" is one word.
enjoy,
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

hello doc. I'm glad to see you and also pleased you like this. I'll correct underrated in a day or so,thanks................scribbler

author comment

just a little something I thought of after my last treck in the woods among the oaks..................stan

author comment

thank you for your take on this. How are you doing lately ?..................scribbler

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If it helps, know you have my best wishes..............stan

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Stan,

sublime rhyming sequence throughout - none of the rhymes felt forced, simply a natural flow.

What is it with you and nature?,,,you've posted lots of nature themed poems (Dusk, Winter Sunset, Night Snow, Winter Gale, Fall Wind and some others I can't remember) recently...all of which I have really enjoyed. You'll have to change your profile name to:

Stan, Stan the Nature Man.

I am not complaining, I look forward to your observations of nature, you seem to see things that I simply overlook.

Great tight structure and meter, except for:

Through summer, rains came when needed
I guess the farmers' prayers were heeded

I just felt they were a word or two too long...what do you think?

Maybe:

Summer rains came when needed
The farmers' prayers were heeded

Great poem my friend - I do so enjoy the nature walk you take me on,

kindest regards,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Hello Dan. I like to write what I see and I am an outdoors kind of guy. I'll think over your suggestions and do an edit in next day or so. To keep from changing pen name, I just posted something a bit different on my blog and am willing to accept all comments on it lol..............scribbler

author comment

Stan, Stan the Outdoor Man,

I have read the 'blog' with your poem on it. It is 1am here and I am getting tired - I will re-read the blog poem tomorrow and let you have my comments.

I find if I try to critique when tired, I miss things and people's work on Neo deserve my full attention before commenting.

kind regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

You are so observant and pay attention to detail. Wonderful to read and digest.

Thanks Stan

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

I think I need to write one on the dark side of nature. It's not all prancing deer and sunshine out there . As always, I appreciate the read and taking time to comment............stan

author comment

blame me for the typo, should be To lol. glad to have you come by................stan

author comment

a great piece to read during the winter at night when it's ten below outside! thanks for reminding me that warmer days will come.
always,
mag

Didn't really expect comment on this minor edit but I'm glad I brought some warmth to a cold night.......stan

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