Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

ABOUT CLOCKS

Submitted by Geremia on Sat, 2015-01-10 10:55

ABOUT CLOCKS

Tick tock
time marks the clock
each hour lives
and then it dies
the days slide
one into the other,

waiting for the shoe to drop
cannot stop
what is to be,
watch T.V. to stay away
from me.
violence . insanity
no hope for mankind.

Lonely in my own fear
the minutes hard to bear
terror strikes suddenly
can't shut off the mind
whirling out of control
memories that remind.
Mortality,

Family and friends
ten little Indians
and then just one
soon there will be none.

No more to say.
get through the day
much the same way
waiting for the shoe to drop
tick-tock
goes the clock.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

weirdelf

Sat, 2015-01-10 11:03

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

and intelligent. You just get better and better.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Geremia

Sat, 2015-01-10 11:09

Geremia's picture

Sometimes I hit the mark,,,,,, Thanks, Jess.

best.

joe

author comment

Ian.T

Sun, 2015-01-11 12:03

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

A great write and there is no time it is only a tick tock that man made to enslave our minds.
One day you will know that there is no time when all things can come to you all at one moment,
Lovely work, Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Sun, 2015-01-11 12:11

Geremia's picture

Hope you are right, Ian.

joe

author comment

Esker

Sun, 2015-01-11 12:18

Esker's picture

Great poem!
and then I remembered
my friends parents had
antiques
Those required winding
a great spring that hauled
up the weight upon which
the ratcheting leverage
let loose the workings of
the clock..Grandfather
in this case...others it
is a sealed coiled spring
in the evening the procedure
after dinner and dish
washing...

But your poem brought that
memory back
no worry about power loss
and blinking led faces...

Thank You!

Geremia

Tue, 2015-01-13 11:48

Geremia's picture

Proust: involuntary memory

author comment

alidzain

Sun, 2015-01-11 12:55

alidzain's picture

Agree with the rest. You are getting good, sir.

Alid

Geremia

Tue, 2015-01-13 11:51

Geremia's picture

As I say. I do hit the mark from time to time,

thank you, my fiend.

joe

author comment

lovedly

Mon, 2015-01-12 09:43

lovedly's picture

sad they are saying
you are getting good from best

I am apart from the rest
joe your the
GOODEST!
and tis no jest...

Geremia

Mon, 2015-01-12 11:01

Geremia's picture

YOU are the best, my friend

joe

author comment

mand

Mon, 2015-01-12 16:59

mand's picture
Volunteer badge

You hit the mark with this one Joe - your poems always give me food for thought.

Great poem!

Love Mand xxxx

Geremia

Tue, 2015-01-13 09:56

Geremia's picture

Thank you, Mand, Your comment means a lot to me.
joe

author comment

scribbler

Mon, 2015-01-12 23:13

Volunteer badge

The tracking of time is one of the things which separates us from animals. They pay no heed of it and this frees them from worrying about the future and obsessing over the past. Who is to say we really are better than them in this respect? For us all the clock tics........great poem Joe.......stan

Geremia

Tue, 2015-01-13 09:59

Geremia's picture

You are right, Stan, I rather be ignorant of the years passing me by. Time is the enemy,
""Knowledge is pain"" [Sophocles]

joe

author comment

Ian.T

Tue, 2015-01-13 10:06

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

We could set our clocks by the flight of the Rooks each day as they came to the field behind our house when I was a children.
Not sure how they did it but they didn't wear watches???
Have a great day out there, Yours Ian

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geremia

Tue, 2015-01-13 11:53

Geremia's picture

That is why I hate coocoo clocks

:)

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2015-01-13 11:51

Esker's picture

like flashbulbs retrieving memory
Proust..
will have to look this person up
again..
there is some memory of it

Thank You!

Geremia

Tue, 2015-01-13 11:55

Geremia's picture

See internet; His whole work dealt with time lost and regained.

author comment

Esker

Tue, 2015-01-13 12:04

Esker's picture

Aha more peices of the puzzle..
I have the fascination with the moebius strip thing
so this will work its way in my thinking ...
Loops...

We had fun as twenty somethings
digging through the old recorders
my freinds father and mom had..
We set them aside and ran a tape loop
recording funny dialoge and sound effects
about a three second delay depending
on how far apart the recording heads
were..on return the one machine would
play the secondary machine woulr
record...reel to reels both table top models
vintage then

its popular now in creative music..
PJ Harvey and others use that shadow
effect as I call it..

you could get about fifteen layers before
it become lost the initial track.
some interesting affects

I was the one who put that together..they
had all the toys...
and dialogue ideas..
teamwork of creative minds..

We built an electric guitar from a car speaker
wired to a amplifier tape deck plug in microphone
turned on mass loud....you could hit the accoustic
and it would sound like Neil Young's overfed
chords!!

duct tape held the speaker in place..
I know...thats now what you do with beautiful
equipment...
but the results everyone remembers

funny creative venues...

like the Beatles "Number 9, Number 9...Number 9"

Thank You!

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.