About workshops

Workshops on Neopoet are groups that meet for a certain period of time to focus on a certain aspect of poetry. Each workshop participant is asked to critique all the other poems submitted into a workshop. A workshop leader helps coordinate -- they set the agenda, give participants feedback on whether their submissions and critique are at they level expected of them, and after the workshop is over, give feedback to participants. 

To join a workshop, first find one that is of interest to you. Once you have found the right workshop (and verified that it is open -- you can find this out in the description below), you can apply to join the workshop.


Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

A NEW FORM ( let's begin)

Status: 
Program description/goal: 

Description:A shop exploring a new form of poetry which can encompass almost any form. It's called "Morphing" and an example will be shown below. We will first discuss the form then will each write their own poem using the form and then comment on one another's poems. There are very few "wrong" ways to write using this form and whatever form you prefer will be able to be used within your poem. This is going to be a fun and participant driven shop of short duration so don't be afraid to join in

Leader: Stan Holliday
Moderator(s):

Objectives: Learn about and use a new poetry form which also will require the use of at least 2 established forms. A secondary function will be to get writers to venture out of comfort zone of their preferred form without having to write an entire poem in an unfamiliar form.

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter: Learn a completely new form of poetry while also stretching out of our comfort zones. This new form is one in which a poem begins in one form and then changes form as the subject matter changes.
Example : "Widow's Retreat"

At sixty years
the telephone
bringing the news late at night

An accident
on his way home.
mad dash to the hospital
...too late.....

The daze
of death cetificates
coffin choices
hushed sad voices
busy work
then finally

alone

For almost all her life
she's been a part of someone else
a teenage girlfriend
mother
wife......

Now the kids are grown and gone
as expected, as should be
but facing even one more day
of cold nights for eternity?

She maintains her brave fascade
rehearsed words and false cheer
while secretly she cursed God
for putting her through such a trial

So inwardly her spirit drifts
to a place which she calls Avalon
where lovers never endure rifts.
A place of warm eternal dawns.

Where everyone stays seventeen,
where tears of loss are never shed,
where the leaves are always green
as on the day when they were wed

You'll often see her sitting there
as she travels in her rocking chair
eyes closed, a small smile on her face
to Avalon, her favorite place...

Length: 
24 days
Number of participants (limit): 
12 people
Skill level: 
Date: 
Monday, August 4, 2014
Short description: 
A short fun shop anybody can participate in

Comments

Just leave a message here of PM me. Never been in shop before? This should be a good one for first timers because little "technical" expertise is needed. An accomplished writer? Learn a new form to add to your skills...........stan

author comment

this is interesting but i need more info on the workshop. Still a bit lost after I read the poem.

Alid

New things tend to leave most folks a bit lost lol. Please read the rest of this thread. I've also recently posted "Drought and Reprieve( the original poem which started this morphing form) and also"The Spoils" which is another example of the form. If after reading these you still have question you are most welcome to join up and we can all answer the questions posed by this new form...........stan PS I'll try to answer questions even if you don't join lol.........stan

author comment

Even if I don't join, I'll still find out more about this workshop and read the poems the participants have written. You made me curious.lol. Still didn't consider I'm good enough to attempt on this new form but if you put my name on the list, I'll try my best. Though I think I'll be the last to post my contribution.

Alid

The posting of poems will be in the order in which folks joined the shop. So at this time you Would be the last to post lol.....stan

author comment

but am highly scheduled. Is there going to be a scheduled meeting time or do we simply need to meet deadlines?

~Arrow

With the site being scattered over almost all time zones it would be pretty hard to schedule times so , as with most shops, you come on line when you're able, add your thoughts on this thread and subsequent poems as they come to you . The main thing that could cause chaos is having everybody post their poems at once. Hence there Will be allotted time slots (over a 2 day period) which you will be given to post your poem.That's about the only deadline I can envision at this time. So just let me know and you're in..........stan

author comment

I would like to try my hand at this morphed form of poetry. Just to know if I got you right, in the example provided by you, is "alone" the point from where the form changes....

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Welcome aboard. And yes, in this particular example there is a pretty sharp change point. But one can also make the change gradual which works well with longer poems..........stan

author comment

Thanks for the confirmation Stan. I shall now get into morphing mode for practice.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

The widow's retreat is so beautiful I missed the change or morph.
Add me I'd like to learn this morphing.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Good to have you with us. In this example the change was from chopped free verse which mirrored the way the shock of loss and everything seeming to happen at once and wound up in structured rhyme which reflected here having found a calming escape and acceptance.........stan

author comment

You'll have to help. As simple as this is my mind might find it a challenge. And I like challenges. My college math instructor tried to help me understand a specific math problem and she told me she couldn't understand how I get the complicated math and not the one she considered easy. She explain it three different ways and I brain would not get. In a fleeting moment after practicing what she said on my own I got it but it was still vague to me.

I guess that's why meters is so hard for me. It's only with me for a moment. Morphing sounds fun so I expect to get a lot of training here to remember the steps.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

I'll not get into it in depth right now but morphing poetry can be from Any form into any Other form...........stan

author comment

Sounds easy enough

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Am a little short of time on this one but will try and keep up if you add my name please, Yours Ian.T morphed into Yenti, and then again sparrow.
Will the advantage go to the schizophrenic I ask myself?
The reply was yes silly, La la

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

A schizophrenic would have answered yes and no lol. You're in and glad to have you............stan

author comment

I'm interested. It will be good to get back into it.

Thanks. I'll get you on the list..........stan

author comment

Err.. I do understand that first verse of your signature but the rest is lost to me. lol. What language are they in? Celtic? Just curious.

Alid

Have a look at:-Convection
Submitted by Rhiannon1010
In August, I put the translation of her signature there, it is a beautiful poem from way back and it will be good for you to see the other language from here, that was from the 900 AD times,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Am I right to say that its original form is written in Celtic? It really seems that way to be but I might be wrong.

Alid

Yes this is the language of the people from that time, this probably goes to show that 500 years after the Roman's left our language was still old style and evolving into the English of today, the Norman influence probably lasted the longest, we are still trying to stop them crossing the channel lol.
Modern English is a great mix it has adopted many words from many languages, some Scottish, Irish and even Cornish people,
try to keep these old languages alive.
The Welsh language is unique and still taught and spoken in a few Welsh places, it would be good to hear it spoken on a tape or some such object.
You take care out there, and the picture is OK on your profile, don't know what the fuss was about..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I'll be gone until Monday but you can still join in . Just give me a holler.........stan

author comment

If I'm moderator can I add my own name? I don't want to mess things up.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I went ahead and added myself.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

That's one of the things a moderately good moderator does lol...........stan

author comment

May I suggest that the morphs be made more pronounced by a change of formatting, like changing from from normal text to italics. It's no big deal using Advanced formatting and it's about fucking time that online poets learned to use their computers (hint hint).

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I first came up with this idea a coupla years ago and have submitted about 4-5 of this form here. One of the things which I think should be sought when using this form is for the change to be gradual enough to not be perceived by the reader until the poem is read completely. Of course this doesn't apply to short poems or to poems in which the change in form mirrors an abrupt change in subject matter or mood. So adding italics might be self defeating.
However this form is still in development stage so All ideas are helpful............stan

author comment

but could not find "A NEW FORM" in the drop list for workshops on the poem submission page to submit it to the workshop.
It's called "Morphing death" and is at
http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/poems/morphing-death

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I'm going to have all the submitted poems just put on stream with "new form shop" put next to title. As small as this shop is and as short as the duration is this should be easy enough...........stan Hmmm........but the new form thing Should show up on the poem submission page. Let me see if I've left something out *****The flag didn't show up because you were not listed as a participant ( I now assume you wish to be one so this has been corrected lol)

author comment

U'm keen, been dry as a desert bone eor months, this has already inspired one poem.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Having a new challenge can often bring out creativity I think. Keep hold of that poem, I expect it won't be too long until I'll be asking for folks to post them...........stan

author comment

Thank you all for joining in on what should be a truly unique work shop. How often do any of us get a chance to help out in the development of a truly new form of poetry? And as far as I've been able to determine this IS a new form. So this shop will benefit not only ya'll be me also. For although I have the "rough" rules for using this form, it still needs new insights.

So let me start by giving a general definition of what a "morphing" poem is. There are already many ways to enhance changes within a poem. But almost all of these ways Do Not include actually changing the form of the poem as it goes along. And that's exactly what morphing poetry does. As the mood or subject matter of the poem changes, the actual form of the poem changes in order to reinforce the change in the poem.

I have posted 2 examples of poems which do this on stream. One is "Widow's Retreat" and the other is "The Spoils". In both of these poems I used the change from free form to structured western classic to mirror a change in content from chaotic to peaceful. But these are Not the only types of forms which could be used to "morph" a poem. The change in forms is a bit dependent upon the degree of change within the poem.

If the change is pretty slight then one might well simply change from a rhyming form to blank verse. Or I can see where a change from free form to .....maybe Haiku would work. (one could end with a Haiku for summation to a poem or begin with Haiku as introduction.

So there it is. I want to use this workshop thread entirely for discussion so that it can be used as an "uncluttered" reference. When a bit of discussion and/or question-answer session is complete and it comes time to post our poems, we will do so on stream, BUT don't forget to put (New Form Shop) in parentheses next to the title so we and general membership can easily tell that your poem is a shop poem..............stan

author comment

guess that's out.

You are correct though. I asked the Google God and He said nothing. I dropped bloody bones and they were naught but bloody bones. Good to see you Elf.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

ANY form to any other form should be workable if the subject "fits" the forms. So free form to structured should work fine. So go ahead and get to work on something to submit when time comes. Since this Is a shop I'd prefer the poem not be semi-epic in length. If you have questions just holler here as I expect there to be many questions about this and also expect to have others than myself answering them............stan

author comment

Posted a Morph thing poem much to early I have been sent to the corner, I shall be a good boy in future, Maybe..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I'd prefer you Not post your poem until I ask you to. Right now the thing I want is people's different thoughts and opinions on the form . We'll discuss and/or cuss first then post.............stan (PS. the 2 Poems I moved back to top of stream were written a while back and put back near top for examples only, not as true shop poems)

author comment

Are we going to be free to chose the two types of poetry as I am not good at most of the set pieces, though I have already prepared a piece for the workshop just gave you a preview lol.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Yes all will be free to choose the two forms. Also remember that More than 2 could be used in theory although to do so would require a pretty long poem.........stan

author comment

I was excited and inspired but am now starting to see where you are going with this Stan.

The role of workshop leader may have been thrust upon you but this is a great concept and I'm intrigued to see how it develops.

Once again though, for future workshops that might involve more knowledge of poetic forms I urge you and everyone else on Neopoet to get their hands on a copy of
"The Ode Less Travelled" by Stephen Fry
and
"The Poet's Manual and Rhyming Dictionary" by Frances Stillman

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I have come up with 3 other new forms in addition to this one. But I think this one has the best chance of catching on and being of use to a great many people. It might even help in getting folks who write in only one form to get used to using another form to add impact to a poem whose story line or emotive content changes. ...........stan PS no apology needed or asked for. This shop is meant to be pretty informal. I just don't want everybody posting their poems at the same time. This would likely result in less attention and thought given to each posting........

author comment

Are we:
*discussing two forms we will all use?
*choosing our own two forms?

When should be start posting?

~Arrow

Are you wanting to join this shop? I was of the opinion you were undecided lol. So first let me get you on the participant's list.

We Shouldn't be posting yet but there were a few people got a bit ahead of themselves. No to address your 2 questions :
1. in order to Be a morphing poem there must be at least two different forms used. The one used at the start and the one the poem morphs into by the end. ANY two forms which you feel will work well with the subject of your poem can be used.
2. When it appears everybody pretty well understands the technique we will begin posting about one poem every 2 days. This will give each poem its own time slot in which to gather comments. We will post in the order in which the participants are listed up above. The exception will be that I'll post last so as to keep people from inferring that there's only one way to use this new form. So you can begin writing your poem when ever you please, just don't post until I notify you.

Now to move this discussion along, let's hear opinions about what forms ya'll think might work best together. Also do you think the transitions should be made only between stanzas of do you think a change in middle of stanza might work also?

author comment

we choose a certain form, anything, freeform, sonnet, limerick, whatever then morph into a different form, also free choice, yet try to make the transition between forms add to the meaning and content of the poem.
Is that it?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Use this form in order to emphasize the change which is being dealt with in the content of the poem. In a way it resembles concrete poetry but uses a change in form instead of trying to make the poem physically resemble the subject. It's actually easier to do than it might appear. As we gain familiarity with this type poetry it might even become obvious that certain forms are best used for different subjects. As an example , morphing from,say, a western classic rhyme to a limerick would work well with a humorous poem. Maybe Not so well in a love poem...........stan

author comment

I am a blank sheet these days, but I hope this would bring something out.
I'm in if you don't mind it Stan.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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gone through the above comments and shall see what I can add.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

You will be a most welcome addition to this shop

author comment

As mentioned earlier we will post in the same order as participants' list. So you may now post your poem raj. Don't forget to put (new form) next to title so we can spot it easily.........stan

author comment

You want us to post to stream?

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Yes, but be sure to put (new form shop) next to title and wait your turn. I'll let you know when via announcement here..........stan

author comment

Thanks for inviting me first to post my poem for this WS. However, can I do it later? This is because presently I am in Canada with my son who got married recently. Therefore, there are times when I have more free time and at other times my time is governed by whatever activities my son and daughter-in-law plan out. Besides this being a morphing type of poem which I haven't attempted thus far, would need some doing. Anyways,l I shall get on with it and as soon as I am ready I will let you know and wait for my turn till you say GO.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

We'll just move on to next participant and put your name on the end of list which should give you plenty of time........stan

author comment

this is mentioned at any of the comments above. I wonder if the poem can make use of more than two different forms, or if we can go for example free form, structured, then free again. Could it work this way?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Yes a poem can make use of almost as many forms as there are forms lol. But for it to work well and not come across as a jumbled mess it needs to be pretty long in order to avoid this. You asked about structured, free verse, structured. Look up my poem "The Spoils" and that will give an example of doing exactly that. For the purposes of this shop it might be best to limit ourselves to only 2 forms so as to keep the poems from being too long and to also simplify things. BUT if you have already written a poem with more that 2 forms, go ahead and post it when your turn comes or if you can write a poem of moderate length using more than 2 forms that will be OK.....stan

author comment

I won't supersede Stan, but I would think that a morphing poem is a morphing poem. If we want to morph a dozen times (shudder) then we should make the attempt. As moderator I will say yes until Stan tells me to shut up.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

As I said above posting a poem with more than 2 forms here in the shop should only be done if the poem isn't too long. ..........stan

author comment

Raj has asked for more time so it is your turn to post.........stan

author comment

Ohh super

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

One thing I've not mentioned yet is the abrupt vs. gradual changes in form. It is OK to use either type but the type used should correspond with the type of change depicted in the poem. An abrupt change would hardly fit a poem dealing with , say, a gradual change in feelings for another and a gradual change would not fit too well when describing something which happens suddenly such as waking up from a dream or having a car accident.

Please keep in mind at all times that this form is still evolving and the ideas I put forth could well be proven wrong by somebody who might write a long poem about evolving love which evolves in fits and starts instead of gradually. So take my ideas and build on them or show how they might be wrong..........stan

author comment

if feels like I'm winging it in this shop it's because I Am to an extent lol. So concerning edits (other than typos and misspells) let's not post any edited versions until After each participant has had a chance to post their poems. By delaying the posting of edited poems we will be able to give everybody's first version better thought..............stan

author comment

I guess we will have to work it out as we go.
I applaud your courage and inventiveness.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I had REALLY hesitated on doing a workshop about a new form which I'd come up with. I worried folks would see it as me trying to draw attention to myself. Hopefully that's not the case. I really Do think this form has a lot of potential in doing a couple of things : Giving people the chance to dip their toes into forms they don't normally use but more importantly, give writers another tool which can be used to enhance certain types of poetry........stan

author comment

This form can be used for, among other things, to show a change in state of mind. For instance a sudden morph from one form to another might well be used to mirror the change between dreaming and being suddenly awakened. Or a gradual change could replicate the gradual change from being fully awake and slowly drifting off to the land of dreams. As this shop progresses I hope all will feel free to add your thoughts on how this form can be used............stan

author comment

While we await Rhiaanon's poem lets have a bit of fun practicing making a slight change in form in the middle of a stanza. This can be a pretty effective way to make gradual change in a morphing poem. We'll post the stanzas here instead of on stream since these will not be entire poems. I'll start us off :
Here in forest's quiet shade
where peace is sought and dreams are made
the sudden snort of a scared deer
brings me out of my deep muse.

author comment

Let me know if this fit into the scheme of gradual morphing you have suggested..

In the journey of life
we pick up lots of baggage
till we near the destination
when it becomes a garbage

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Your stanza uses a standard rhyme scheme in which the 2nd and last line rhyme. What I'm looking for is 2 different types of poetry with the break in the middle of the stanza. The change could be from rhyme to blank verse, rhyme to free verse, the reverse of both of these, blank verse to free verse, a short choppy free verse to longer lined better flowing free verse or even something like beginning as a limeric then ending as something else. The main thing is that the break be within the stanza and not jarring..............stan

author comment

Thanks Stan...I got your point and will work on it and r-epost here for you to see it fits into what change you are looking for...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

does this work better and fall into place in terms of change of form and mood?

In the journey of life
we pick up lots of baggage
some rags, some treasures,
loathing some, in-satiable greed
then as we near the destination
all comes to zilch
staring into a void before us...

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Sorry but I see no change. Might just be me. To keep it simple why not write a 4 line stanza in which the 1st two lines have end rhyme and the next two lines have the same number of syllables as the previous 2 but have no end line rhyme...............stan

author comment

Under your tutelage I have made revisions as suggested by you. Lemme know if this works

In the journey of life
we pick up lots of baggage
realizing too late
the spiritual aspect

Regards & thanks,

raj (sublime_ocean)

What 2 forms have you used?

author comment

You are right, I can't myself figure out what the forms are. It all boils down to the fact that I first need to get hands on with different forms before venturing further.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

I wish I could ever send my breath
to those who are under the siege of death
In Gaza
but they blew up
every communicative tunnel
or would I better say, channel?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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Let's wait for Stan's comments.

Alid

have to wait on me before making comments but .yes, this is a good job.........stan

author comment

Ten years in prison has ended
My joy cannot be told with words
but seeing your silent tombstone, mother
my happiness died in the arms of guilt

Alid

where do you think you have the morph?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

first two lines are rhymes at the end while the rest are free verse. I'm just trying to follow Stan's format example. Content wise, from happiness to sadness. Hmmm. what do you think? Did I pass or fail in my attempt?

Alid

they do seem to have a different flow, though. Did you mean they would rhyme if the stanza were longer?

no rhyme. My bad. At least it still do morph, which is the purpose of this practice.

Alid

I am still thinking about mine. Have just done some edits.
What do you think about it?

About yours,I think morph is always there, sometimes it is subtle, other times clear.
when you have a small stanza, I think it is more difficult to tell.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

the first two lines don't rhyme. (ended) and (words) but content wise, yes I can see it and I very much like your lines. Very touching and expressinve.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Should I say near rhymes instead? lol. Let's see if Stan approve. Checking on yours now.

Alid

Ended and words are not even near rhymes. I first read this and thought you were going from blank verse to free verse...........Might it be that in your native language "ended" and "words" are a near rhyme?........stan

author comment

not even close. ended in malay is "berakhir" and words in malay is "perkataan". To be honest, I thought of taking away the s in words, but its just not right. errr... can you tell me what is the difference between blank verse and free verse,please?

Alid

There is a change in meter. The first two lines are in tetrameter (8 beats) and the last two in pentameter (10 beats). Blank verse is iambic pentameter that isn't rhymed.

is a type of poem in which the meter , or flow, is maintained but doesn't rhyme. Free verse is poetry which is written without regard to either rhyme or meter........stan

author comment

The cubs in a den of lions, this world
eaten alive by mighty warriors, police
the lioness cry out in vain for the life of her cub.

Hearts formed rigid ice crystals stand by
as mothers fathers sisters brothers cousins
aunts uncles and friends wrangle in agony
at their loved one lifeless body laid in the streets for hours.

F–ing animals they are called
Their peace turned to injustice
In an instance shots fired
Cub down shot dead in compliance.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

free verse to a rhymed stanza? It causes the last stanza to stand out. I liked the whole thing - raw.

Thanks, I'm glad it worked. It turned out better than I thought. I think raw is good. Now I wait for Stan to see if it fit his objective. And crit from others. Morph was hard. I had to concentrate on Stan's examples. It helped a lot.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

This IS a good example of a morphing poem but this exercise isn't supposed to be an entire poem, just practice in using change within a single stanza. Trust you to go beyond the call lol..........stan

author comment

Yeah that's me going beyond the call. Lol. Now I understand what you want, I think. I'll submit this to the stream and try to trim it to one stanza.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

On Sunday afternoons, I take my tea
To drink and think beside the lily pond
And wish that I were brave enough to leave
The dead fallen leaves
Of once green then blazing trees
The chill is too harsh

(rhymed iambic pentameter into a haiku)

Well, actually near rhyme but it does work well. And as in the better morphing poetry the fack that the second part is Haiku was not noticible.

author comment

*

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

The war in Iraq is bad
It's a trying time for Iraqis dads
Black dads lose their sons
Walking home unarmed, cops gun.

A cry for justice falls on deaf ears
Rioting in the streets won't change a thing.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

I think you are still missing the point of this exercise. What we're going for is a single stanza where the morph is made within the stanza. Something like a 4 line stanza in which the first 2 lines are in one form and the next two in another form. Being able to do this will be very helpful if you try to write a longish poem with very gradual change in form. Of course you could always just combine your two stanzas into one.........stan

author comment

I think I got it now.

Moms and dads lose their sons to violence
no justice for these crimes amid the bias
Unarmed teens targeted for their colored skin
Begets death for a race of people.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

and it really does make the last line stand out.

Stan is this the sort of Morph you are asking for from the first two lines a rhyme and the second two in free flow???

Night attack

Your rancid odour penetrates my mind
I didn't know that you were behind.
A split second of time sent me to my hell
My throat grabbed, my senses floundered.

Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

If I didn't know the poem was supposed to be morphing, I'm not sure I would have noticed as hell and reel sound similar. Because of that, I agree with Rula that a change in form would make it clearer. I agree it is hard to do and have it seem natural within the stanza.

I have changed a word for you
so that it is nowhere near a rhyme.
But couldn't see where Real and Hell rhyme,
Had it been Reel or Heel yes but not hell.
Thanks for the heads up,
I changed to stop any other confusion.
Thanks again Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Maybe it is my drawl that makes it sound similar to me. :)

It is a pleasure to have someone read and comment on the poetry in this workshop or on stream, I think you are setting a great example to the others, Yours as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

best of morphing poetry Should be almost unnoticeable until the reader gets done and has time to realize something has happened. ..........stan

author comment

As the stanza is short, I thought you need to have a morphing in the form too not only the rhymes

Your rancid odour penetrates my mind
I didn't know that you were behind.
A split
second of time
sent me to my hell
My throat grabbed,
my senses did reel

just my thought. Please don't take me too serious. I could be mistaken.
Let's see what the boss thinks.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I can see that this is going to be a very hard workshop.
Stan asked for a piece where the form changed within a stanza.
Yours is excellent but I think Stan meant us to be more subtle in the changes from one line to the next, we will see what he has to say, I did it this way as the request was as Stan's but we have to wait for the directive now.
I have written a much longer piece that has gone on the stream as a workshop piece but I was a little fast for the exercise so have come back to this page.
Thanks for your input it is very welcome, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I think it's sometimes harder than others to decide the morph.
I still am not sure if the subtle one or the clear one works better.
I believe the two serve in a way or another to grip the reader's attention
Then, when it does, we can say it serves it well, I think.
Yours wasn't bad at all but I thought we need a more clear morph.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I think that the division between the morph's must be more pronounced, I have written a piece for the later part of the workshop I think it is still on stream some place with a title that has about morphing in it, we now have to wait for Stan to proceed to the next stages.
You take care young Lady and know you are in our thoughts as your world is disturbed and your homeland beset by strife.
Go well and you take care of you, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

make a lot of difference if the stanza has 4 lines or 8 as long as the change takes place within the stanza.

author comment

a change in the form. (from structured to free)

I am not sure.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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do you think is more effective
or none :)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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My comp is acting wonky again so I'm only going to be here off and on until I can figure out what's wrong.

There's a good bit of "art" involved in whether an abrupt change works better with a particular poem than a gradual one. A lot has to do with the tone which you want to convey. As with a lot of things in poetry one of the best ways to determine if you have it right is to read it out loud, not just the morph but the entire poem. Your ear will tell you whether you have used the correct morph and used it at the right point in your poem. Examples (but just partial poems):

And so I keep ascending still
although legs complain with pain
until I reach top of hill
just as it ceases to rain..............rhyme with abab pattern

There I lift my weary eyes
and very much to my surprise
no mountains are left to scale
for I have reach the summit.............mid stanza morph from aa rhyme to blank verse

Relief is mixed with vague regret
for the journey has been long
but I've now reached the sought apex
and can't help but wonder
what's next?.............free verse

Now I'll try the same poem but with an abrupt change from rhyme straight to free verse

And so I keep ascending still
although legs complain with pain
until I reach top of the hill
just as it ceases to rain

But having reached the hill's apex
what's left?

You judge for yourself which of these 2 is the better poetry. Hopefully this is helpful.............stan

author comment

These illustrations have certainly provided a good clarity to me. Had you at anytime considered pursuing teaching as a professions? I ask because you have those attributes as I have witnessed while following your WS.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

The way some students behave, I'd likely wind up in jail for kicking some punk kid's butt. But there have been teachers in my family for at least 3 generations so maybe it's genetic lol.........stan

author comment

version in my opinion with the gradual morph serves the poet's mood better I believe.

As for the second version, the sudden change doesn't serve the poem, (IMO)

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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So you see how different types of morphing work best with different poems. Hence the touch of "art" involved......stan

author comment

Let's say I'm going to write a poem about waking up in the dark. Now I could wake up from a nightmare or a restful dream. Which wakening is best described in a gradual morph and which by abrupt morph?

author comment

I had a incident of this actual scenario. I'll describe, show it in a few verses.

Sleeplessness cover me
In the wee hours of the night
Dawn's rosy-pink light ensued
Aww—slumber at last

Awaken by pounding at the door
I lay sprawled on the floor

How is this Stan? I added two more lines to see if I'm still getting it.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

other than a couple of grammar errors this is a good 2 stanza morph............stan

author comment

I expect that one of the toughest thing about this new form, for those who write mainly free verse, is to realize that before a morph is complete there must first be a pure form of some sort at the beginning and then another at the end. And in order to be most effective both the first and last entire stanzas need to be entirely in one form .

When you added those last two lines your second stanza became a stanza of free verse just as the first stanza is..................stan

author comment

I get it. My brain has locked in on this morph. So I'm gone do an addition to see if the morph continue.

Sleeplessness cover me
In the wee hours of the night.
Dawn's rosy-pink light ensued
Aww—slumber at last

Awaken by pounding at the door
I lay sprawled on the floor.

(What about this Stan? I tend to not flow with consistency ). Great teacher you are.

My son's schoolmate knocking at the door
Peered through the window calling me mama.
With eyes of wrath I stumbled away
Murmuring —ugh at his wild laughter saying "I'm sorry mama".

(. Are these two separate morph )".

I'm diabetic popping metformin
My blood sugar quickly back to normal.
A possible slow healing wound turned gangrene
Had me scared in a hospital bed, the nurse cleaned
My busted toe pouring blood

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Hope that toe's better but not yet good enough to kick me in the butt lol. This attempt seems to go from free verse to rhyming couplet then to a semi-morphing rhyme then back to free verse. Now there's nothing inherently wrong with having a poem morph into another form or forms then return to the original form at the end. But a poem which goes through this many changes needs to be longer and the changes need to be gradual in order to avoid jarring the reader. And even jarring the reader is OK if the poem calls for an abrupt change in mood. But one jar per poem is about all that a reader would want to endure.

I would suggest at this time that you do a less ambitious poem where the change is smoother and only from a single form to the final ending form. You could start with free verse, then a structured free verse then a free verse with at least one rhyme then a rhyme in which only lines 2 and 4 rhyme then an aabb rhyme pattern then finally end with an abab rhyme pattern. Or you could do the reverse.

It has taken me 2 years to get it straight in my head what this form is and what it is capable of doing. So don't get frustrated. It could be worse....I could be trying to get you to write one of those cussed Sonnets lol..........stan

author comment

Crossed sonnet oh no don't do that lol.
It's how I am, make things difficult. I do need to slow down to grasp the simple things. I'm glad I join this workshop you are helping me to learn the elementary things Lol
In high school I was separated from the main class interaction. And allowed to do my work on a different lesson plan than my class. I was always treated different in high school and college. But I learned. I'll get this too lol

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

as much as I would have loved to so far, but this is a grand workshop, Stan.
It upholds everything I believe in, in terms of Neopoet and poetry.
Good fucking on you!

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

One of the reasons for my running this shop is selfish : in a well run shop the one "teaching" is also learning via feed back. And I needed a Lot of feedback in order to get this form straight in my head. But I Also think this is a form which can be extremely useful in using the actual poetic forms to enhance a write........time will tell.........stan

author comment

nor ever will be. You are a closet anarchist.
I might add that many of the great modern poets have mixed freeform with fixed form successfully, ts Elliot springs to mind. You are not really inventing anything, you doing better in encouraging full verbal creativity.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Perhaps just a tad lol. I have also seen some mixed form stuff. What I'm trying to do is to mix the best of both free form and rhyme while still maintaining at least a loose set of rules in doing so. I'm pretty sure the future of poetry lies in some type combination of free form and western classic. What I've seen of mixed forms though has seemed a bit chaotic and thus not easily called to mind. Perhaps by combining them in a semi structured manner the poetry will be both somewhat free in form yet also have enough structure to help in recall.

author comment

I am still waiting your comment on my submitted poem. No one could confirm that the morph works well there.
Thank you

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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Been under the hood of Susan's car trying to track down an electrical problem. But I have now found her problem and corrected it as well as read your poem and analysed it (maybe even correctly lol)........stan

author comment

We will soon be completed posting the first versions of everybody's poems. I know it's been a bit of a struggle but hope it's been a fun type struggle. Now would be a good time to begin editing your poems. DO NOT post any edits yet, just get them ready for when I announce it's time.

We have seen a great many forms used in this shop. What I'd like you to think about are which forms you think are best suited for use in a morphing poem and let us know here on this thread...........stan

author comment

I''m still waiting for the green light from you before I post mine.

Alid

maybe because they are short. I feel like two longer structured forms placed together make an odd patchwork quilt. Free verse and a structured form seem alright together but I think it depends on the theme. I suspect this is culturally determined, though, like I expect some themes to have certain shapes and when they don't, somehow it feels wrong.

That the Japanese forms seem to work well especially as introductions or conclusions.

BTW, am I the only who has noticed that the forms that seem to work best together are also the ones which are most visually compatible?.........stan

author comment

maybe that's true. You're the mentor after all.lol

Alid

is a ghost writer to edit mine.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I'm not planning to become a ghost for at least a couple more weeks..........stan

author comment

I am trying to write funny poems and has posted one here for the workshop. Very eager to see what you all have to say.

Alid

You may post your edited shop poems Saturday...........stan

author comment

just wanna ask your opinion. You say the Japanese style worked better in introduction and conclusion. What if a poem has both, I mean, it begins and ends with tanka while the morphing is in between? Is that a little bit too much or still okay in your view?

Alid

I see no reason why if done well it wouldn't work. This shop is starting to make it obvious that any poem in which more than one change in form is made needs to be at least moderate in length lest the changes come across as chaotic..........stan

author comment

Morph is morph is morph. Two (or more) forms I think will work together. It's all in the transition. In my poem I used line length as my morph and tried to do it a syllable at a time until only one remained. Somewhere in there is the length of line for a tanka (I think). Asian poetry is over my head.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

don't hold me to this! That would involve morphing at least two classic forms without any freestyle. Wish me luck, I know it won't be easy.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Remember that the next thing is supposed to be an edit of the previous poem so you need to keep Something of the old poem in the new one.........stan

author comment

I know you can do it.

Alid

My iPad tumbled to the cement
screen cracked, fell near my car door
I forgot it was sitting on my lap
I'm glad it still works as intended.

My peace fades
the dreading has me daze.

My iPad now defective
I can't go on watching this cracked screen
every time I enter my password.

The damage is not that bad
I'm just mad
I can't live with this iPad.

So, I bought a new one
placed a bid on eBay and won
now I have a bigger one

I can store so much more
of my games, songs galore

Now my iPad don't freeze
when I try to read
my favorite web sites.  

Happy days are here again
No more iPad blues causing me pain.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Nice humorous tinge to this one. I could sense the switches in moods.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

test

author comment

If you have them ready please post your edited poems on stream Monday. Be sure to add "edit" next to title......stan

author comment

Who has not posted their edited poems may now do so. Please be sure to put "edit" next to title and if possible post the edited version below the original so we can compare the two easily.........stan

author comment

Now that we're nearing the end of this shop, this would be a good time for ya'll to post your ideas on this poetic form. Feel free to say if you think any particular forms work well together and whether some don't. Let me know if you think you might use this form in the future at times. Did this shop help you step out of your comfort zone and explore a form or forms which you would not usually try. Just put down Any thought you have about this..............stan

author comment

I believe most, if not all the participants here agree with me that this shop was an eye opener to many poetic forms and how they would work best with each other. We might have had used the muti-forms or meters within the same piece in one way or another without giving it much attention or knowing how and when it is more appropriately used, but now we become more aware of it, I believe.

What do I like for a more advanced workshop on the same theme?

I wish to know what is the most appropriate form for what themes?
I mean is there really such a thing? Does strict meter go more for example with dark poetry, while another suits humor and fantasy.

I just wonder
If so, please help!

Thanks for the time.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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The form which I prefer to use for conveying peace or tranquility is rhymed meter. Then if the subject changes to something which becomes chaotic at the end I first start by changing rhyme pattern to one in which only line 2 and 3 rhyme then maybe a stanza in which either the first or last 2 lines only rhyme then let things devolve to blank verse then free verse with good poetic devices and finally to choppy free verse. And of course the opposite would pertain if subject goes from chaos toward peace.
As I've stated before there are basically 2 types morphing, sudden and gradual. the sudden seems to work best in a poem in which a sudden event which changes protagonist's mood or thoughts in a heartbeat. The gradual works best with poems where there is a gradual change, such as a growing love or a realization reached over time.

One thing I'd Not considered prior to this shop is the way that Japanese forms can be used effectively in either introducing or concluding a poem. Another is the apparent fact that the way a poem looks indicates whether the forms used work well together in transition. Unless using morphing to display a radical change in the subject going from a form in which lines are all similar in length to one in which lines are radically different in length doesn't seem to work well.

You asked specifically about meter. I don't think tight meter has much to do with whether a subject is dark or otherwise. The main way which meter applies to morphing is the loss of or finding of good meter being used to display change.

author comment

thank you Stan!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
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The workshop was an eye opener and a learning experience for me. I actually got it. Yeah!!
You had to shake me up a bit to get it in there lol. I will certainly be writing more poetry with the morph in mind.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

I am pleased this shop was helpful to you. I had hoped mainly to accomplish 3 things here. 1. Introduce a new form of poetry 2. use the new form to trick people into using a variety of forms they usually wouldn't 3. Gather feedback and fresh insights into this form which is still a work in progress. I seem to have scored in all 3 categories lol.....stan

author comment

you certainly have

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Can we have more of this type of workshop please? I think many can benefit from it, especially the people who just looking for new forms for their poetry.

Alid

I have actually developed 3 other forms that are apparently new lol. But one of them is very hard to post and the other two aren't much easier. Check out "Inheritors and Benefactor" by me to see "parallel " form. But It will be a while before I post another shop dealing with some form I've come up with. Even this shop had me feeling a bit strange because I thought it might come off as being self promoting. But there are Many traditional forms which will be covered over time so stretching your wings should be little problem.........stan

author comment

For enduring this shop. I , as usual, have learned more than I taught and appreciate the effort everybody put into this. I also hope to see ya'll post s morphing poem once in a while.........stan

author comment

Apologies for not actively participate in the WS

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Wonderful workshop. When I write now I think about writing a morph poem.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Thank you for starting this workshop in the first place.

Alid

Thank you for your support in a shop which became more difficult than I'd thought it would.......stan

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