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Hey ya'll ! Thought I'd get a bit of feedback before I decide to stream this...............

We've been there in every war
since 1812, maybe before
doomed, I have no idea why
to always fight and never die

Where ever brave men hate and fight
our platoon is within sight
with haggard faces and blank eyes
our conversations marked by sighs

And we remember each foe killed
both the cowards and strong willed
their looks of shock, complete surprise
appear each time we close our eyes

We've forgotten all things tender
what is love ? I don't remember
all that's recalled, death, blood lust
where is this God in whom to trust ?

I recall the mud and stenches
in Europe among the deadly trenches
and later bloodied sandy reaches
as we stormed Normandy's beaches

And long ago in Pickett's charge
the hail of bullets that hit Sarge
yet failed to rob him of his breath
bringing to him blessed death

At Inchon, Korean human waves
sent by thousands to their graves
in the pure snow and bitter cold
how can we age yet not grow old

We've all been cut down many times
in many places, many climes
to fall and feel the intense pain
despite our hopes, we rise again

In southeast Asia, the middle east
each time we're eaten by the beast
we've each of us a private sin
upon which this doom to pin

A raped civilian, a skewered child
a murdered hooker when we go wild
whatever action, or action's lack
I know we each would take it back

All hope is gone, naught but despair
there's always a war fought somewhere
it doesn't matter anymore
we've been there in every war..............

I am open to all suggestions including title change


there is no such thing as too long a comment and I am glad to read yours...............scribbler

author comment

I'm not too good as no one seems to grasp that this is about a platoon doomed to fight for ever in return for sins they commited during battle. Kind of like Vanderbecken in the ancient mariner. The horrors of war are such that I believe no one should be commander in chief without having been in the military ...................stan

author comment


first off, a bloody good poem. I like the topic, the structure and its rhyming flow.

In trying to keep the lines of similar length to keep the flow nice and tight I suggest the following for consideration:

we sent them by thousands to their graves (sent by thousands to their graves)
in the snow and bitter cold (in the icy snow and bitter cold)

we each of us must have a sin (everyone of us must have a sin)

whatever action, whatever lack (every action and every attack)

there's always some war fought somewhere (there's always a war fought somewhere)


to always fight and never die (never die?...don't quite get that as many soldiers die, so I am not quite understanding your meaning on that line)

Great poem my friend.


Workshops are now open:
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Thank you for the kind comment and suggestions. It is obvious this isn't ready for stream as nobody seems to gather that this platoon has been damned to eternal battle without even the option of dying to escape their fate. I'll gather more responses then try an edit that is clearer of their situation............................stan

author comment


this one is very good, so I wouldn't hold it back from the stream.

Maybe a title change to make it clearer:

Eternal Soldier(s)



Workshops are now open:
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Now that you mention it I seem to vaguely recall the same movie, but the inspiration for this was the poem about Vanderbecken being doomed to for ever trying to traverse the horn for having cursed God....................scribbler

author comment
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