Rosemary, a girl in a woman's body, a fool-hardy-soul
someone who leapt without looking. my so called good friend.
Who dropped Purple Haze into my cooled cup of morning tea,
well knowing my innocence would come to a celluloid end.

Rosemary picked our program for the days events
It was her turn to plan our outing this time.
I told her I had not seen the heart of the city
and I was not sure I wanted to see all of that grime

I can feel the water filling my lungs
Weighing on my chest
It's heavy and cool

It sinks me
to the bottom
And holds me in place

My chest rises and falls
With the waves
Slow and smooth

I let my body flow
With the pace of the water
As I drift off to sleep

When I awaken
The fish greet me as their friend
The sand under me is warm

I close my eyes
once more
To listen to the movement

The dull crash of the waves
The echo of silence
The beating of my heart

The ground began to shake
The walls cracked
Dust rained from the ceiling
The light fixture swung just above where I was standing

Frozen,
panicked.

I closed my eyes
and wished it would stop
I even prayed that it would stop

I feel the breeze flow through the broken windows
The rain spraying the floor where I stand

Sirens outside
are a melody
no one ever wants to hear

I planted my feet
begged for survival
and braced for impact.

I’ll be your perfect little lovergirl
Writing you poems
And singing you songs

I’ll be your perfect little lovergirl
Whatever you say goes,
You can do no wrong.

I’ll be your perfect little lovergirl
Don’t worry about me,
I’m always fine.

I’ll be your perfect little lovergirl
Get high off your kiss
Get drunk off cheap wine.

I’ll be your perfect little lovergirl
Play with my heart,
It’s yours to abuse.

I’ll be your perfect little lovergirl
Go with other girls
It’s me you can use.

When we were young,
lines had been drawn.
Less a friendly battle
than an all-out war.
It was always them
against us...
me (little Honey-Girl)
and our Dad, against
mom-Norma, Kathryn and Coral,
with black cowboy hats.
Blazing guns drawn
from toy holsters.
Something changed;
shifted...
When She hit him
with a frying pan,
I could see in Her eyes
the hate and anger growing.
I think he saw it too...
I saw the pain in his eyes
That is why he arrived

There’s a universe where I never met you,
Where your hands never ran across my skin.
We never kissed in the backseat of my parents’ car,
Faces flushed from the thrill.

Maybe in this universe,
We were on opposite ends of the earth.
My night was your day.
Where I saw a sunset, you saw a sunrise.
Both skies being painted, but with different brushes.

I saw you today
and I felt sad.

Sad because of what we lost.
Sad because I miss being yours.

---

I saw you today
and I felt nothing

I think it's safe to say,
I'm over you...

---

I saw you today
and I was so angry

Angry that we don't have
what we could've had...

---

I saw you today
and I felt relieved

Relieved that we
are not together

---

I saw you today
and I felt happy

Happy to see you
Alive and well

---

There very well should have been a warning sign
outside 2714 Girard Ave North proper, it would be
so germane for every word of my tale, every line
is as true as the colors of the variegated sky.

Living there through four of my growing years
I have the stressful emotional and mental scarring
that accrued with the shedding of many pent up tears
tears of glowering wrath and hopeless piteous pain.

I grew willing
to take a chance
I took your hand,
you led me in
the veiled dance.
Under your influence
I looked deeply into
your eyes, the color
of wood-smoke...
I was hypnotized
knew I would never stray
would always sway
under the influence
of our love...
We became much more
than solitary souls.
mysterious motorcycle
riders of the winds...
We became the roads
traveled, smoking
every winding curve...
knowing we had found home.

Today, I saw boy that looked just like you.
At least how I remember you...

Light brown hair.
Short, straight, spiky...

He had your style
and your smile,
and he smiled at me.

I smiled back politely
but my heart sank
because he wasn't you.

I sat in the parking lot
a few extra seconds
to see him once more.

I know I'll never see him again
just like I'll never see you again.