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Stop, look, listen

The day was bright and sunny
The temperature was high
With skylarks singing sweetly
As they hovered in the sky

The babbling brook was babbling
To the sighing of the trees
The butterflies were coasting
Way up high upon the breeze

I gazed at all the wonders
Mother nature had in store
And I marvelled at her beauty
As I stood outside my door

That life affirming moment
Sent a shiver down my spine
So I went to watch the tele
With another glass of wine

Editing stage: 

Comments

lovely imagery of natural pristine beauty in stark contrast to the artificial beauty brought out so nicely in the closing lines...a pleasure read...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks for stopping by Raj

John

author comment

No big deal John to appreciate ...it is a pleasure reading this..thanks for the privilege by posting this write...

raj (sublime_ocean)

One of my pure delights in your work as well as its insight and humour, is its technical excellence.
But you mis-scanned v.1 l.4
Somewhere in the clear blue sky
I think reads better, if less lucidly, as
Somewhere in the sky

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Which god would that be, and if there are any gods, do they fuck at all?

That line bothered me as well and i've been scratching my head over it, I've made a little change now, is it any better?
Don't get the idea that I know what I'm doing, it's all guesswork.

John

There’s some what smokes
There’s some take drugs
There’s some that ‘it’s the bottle
But that’s not me
Oh no sirree!
‘Cause me, I do the lot’ll

author comment

re: gods fucking, some say the entire universe was created by the orgasmic union of Shakti and Shiva, that's why they call it the Big Bang.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

such lovely rhymes
and
the glass of wine
will trip any mind

loved

Well thank you very kindly,

John

author comment
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