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STOLEN GLANCES

Submitted by scribbler on Mon, 2011-08-29 09:11

Bar me not from gazing on
the form which sets my blood on fire
and has done so for many a year.
Don't reward my gaze with flippant ire
in attempt to quash growing desire.

That mirror you depend on so
only shows a flawed reflection.
It never shows what I behold
when I chance to look in your direction,
stealing a glance of near perfection.

So sit there with your puzzle book.
I'll sit here with note pad on my knee.
With pen in hand and love in heart
let me describe what most don't see
and put it into poetry.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

scribbler

Mon, 2011-08-29 11:59

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Sometimes I'll be sitting around with Susan while she's working on a puzzle of some type and I get caught staring at her . I then get told to stop that lol. This poem is the result...........stan

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scribbler

Mon, 2011-08-29 14:54

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Once a poem hits the stream it no longer belongs to the writer and will be interpreted in any way the reader pleases lol. this is as should be. I just put my intent in case you had completely missed my meaning, should have known better..........stan

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loved

Mon, 2011-08-29 12:12

loved's picture

Future Poet

A lady poet was recently asked
How she managed
To be able to publish her book of poetry
She replied
When I was ten, getting bored,
My mom asked me not to idle,
Then what should I do she asked,
Write a poem
Thereafter she never stopped
And
Today she has published her book of poems
And
Her mom is her publisher, editor and reader.

Best of luck to you,
You are the future potential
Of all poets here

loved

scribbler

Mon, 2011-08-29 14:55

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I hope Neo can do better than vest future potential in me lol. Thanks for the read and kind comment...........stan

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loved

Mon, 2011-08-29 22:14

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uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr the presenttttttttttttt

loved

scribbler

Mon, 2011-08-29 22:48

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That would be even worse lmao...............stan

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loved

Tue, 2011-08-30 08:44

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don't steal
but STEEL ..
those lovely glances

loved

scribbler

Mon, 2011-08-29 22:51

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Thank you for coming by and leaving such kind comment. I will give your suggestion serious consideration when I inevitably edit..................stan

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scribbler

Tue, 2011-08-30 08:30

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I guess it's a good thing when somebody thinks enough of a work to come back with another read and suggestion. Thank you...........stan

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lou

Tue, 2011-08-30 05:53

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Let the critique police hunt me down LOL!!

It was simply beautiful

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

scribbler

Tue, 2011-08-30 07:35

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There is a warrant out on you lol. Thank you for your kind comment...................stan

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scribbler

Wed, 2011-09-21 08:19

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See, I Do use suggestions sometimes lol.............stan

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Kailashana2

Wed, 2011-09-21 09:44

Hi Stan.

Poetry is a lover's book of reference....love speaks. It warms my heart to hear your words of love for the woman you married. I'm not that lucky, but I'm fortunate. ;-) .

Much enjoyed this whole thread. Thank you.

~A

scribbler

Wed, 2011-09-21 10:20

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I guess the lucky one is Me...............stan

author comment

scribbler

Wed, 2011-09-21 18:14

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Thank you, but I can't promise no changes as I'm always tinkering with my stuff. Indeed, a one word change is what brought this poem back to top of stream lol.......stan

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scribbler

Wed, 2011-09-21 18:15

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Thank you for the time to read and leave such kind comment...........stan

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wesley snow

Wed, 2011-09-21 17:36

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I liked this. Not that you needed my comment. You're loaded with fans here.
I still (of course) would have liked a more even meter, but the sum of the poem was comfortable and lovely.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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scribbler

Wed, 2011-09-21 18:20

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I'm pleased you enjoyed this. I am not too well versed in technical aspects of poetry yet, so meter slips are probably rampant in most of my stuff. And that also begs the question : Which is more important the ease of read and message delivery, or maintaining strict meter? The masters manage both, but this neophyte only gets it right occassionaly lol...............stan

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scribbler

Wed, 2011-09-21 22:15

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Thank you Chrys................stan

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loved

Wed, 2012-10-24 04:12

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i came across yours Stan
and also found one of my own
shall post it soon
if 24 hours
are not still due

loved

Ian.T

Wed, 2012-10-24 04:20

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To see a rose with feelings
to look at the inside
where the feelings are held tightly
before age unfurls the bloom
Is a beauty that many need
Susan is blessed that you see her so.
This is True Love,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

loved

Wed, 2012-10-24 04:28

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how true r u

loved

scribbler

Wed, 2012-10-24 13:20

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Hard to believe this oldie was dug back up lol. Thanks for resurrecting it.................stan

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loved

Thu, 2012-10-25 00:00

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u get something unexpected so its a gift

loved

scribbler

Thu, 2012-10-25 10:39

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Guess you're just lucky you didn't hit a sewer when you were digging lol.............stan

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Ian.T

Thu, 2012-10-25 13:46

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They found a king under a car park in Leicester City a few weeks ago.
(Richard the Third).. I think they are now looking for his car but they don't know where to bury him.
My kingdom ended in a car park for the want of a horse of course LMAO
Keep Digging Y'All,
Love you all still, Yours Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Ian.T

Thu, 2012-10-25 03:30

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Do you think this is now a memorable Poem lol, Take care and keep writing, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

scribbler

Thu, 2012-10-25 10:39

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Almost lmao...................stan

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