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Spinning Top Peace

Submitted by Roscoe Lane on Fri, 2011-12-09 17:55

spinning top peace..

I had a spinning top once
believing it would spin forever

But as hard as I pushed
it always
stopped

so soon it never span again
as a child

I couldn’t understand
now I do

at last, peace

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Thinking of christmas and, presents of the past..
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Sun, 2011-12-11 06:19

Roscoe Lane's picture

Thank you, and yes the comma is a better idea. As i said in my final words, i was looking at presents of today and started thinking of presents of the past. The spinning top came to mind and i was thinking how we tried as youngsters to see who could spin it the longest. And thought it was a bit like life. Again thank you for your time and comments. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

author comment

Tam the Chanter

Sun, 2011-12-11 06:40

Tam the Chanter's picture

Thought - provoking write, Roscoe. Life's frustrations encapsulated in a child's toy. One point, though, is "span" the word to use? not "spun"?
Regards

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

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