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Smiles

Smiles

She looks at me from a distance
Gives searching glances
As she blushes she smiles
I smile too,
No, not at her
But within

Is her smile really for me?
I await a moment
To feel the vibration
Of the nerves
All over my surface
Each like a real erection

I feel the twitch,
I assure myself to smile
As the power I pitch
Whenever next
She peeks.

Oh! I wonder whether she’ll smile
As she once did.

Look at my track
I gape at her with open eyes,
Oh smile, a while
I shall too, with you,
Till we die

Ah! For the moment
Do not feel shy
Give me that blush
All for my while

Smile my love
The flower opens,
Like a lotus,
As we share the glory
The glare
As you within my eyes
And
I in yours finally stare.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

i wrote it
when the cold breeze
was fanning me.
so thanks to thee...

loved

author comment

Your poetry has improved so much lately. I applaude you.

My only crit
I in yours finally do stare.
[I in yours finally stare.]

your poetry in the past was trite re-integration of simplistic themes.

Now it is deeply beautiful.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

the... do... was an after thought
glad u also think its out of context
so I've removed it
All your blessings sir.
Thanks take care

loved

author comment
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