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Elegance, you were a descendant of evil, I swear
I never felt skin to the likes of yours
You were a drug, an addiction. I am in withdrawal

Manic, you were a child of a rainstorm, I swear
You were uncovered in a tomb of gold
I never held my heart from you. You are a caged bird

Infatuation, you were the sun on a winters day, I swear
I never felt radiance in another like you
You were a fire, burning glory. I am smoldering

Love, you were a selfish child with new toys, I swear
You held my head underwater
I left in a convenient way, blacked out. Our memories erased

Melancholy, you are the lullaby to my ears, I swear
I could never sleep again
You sang me to sleep before, a siren. Our hearts wept

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 


How good this is.
I like the "I swear", it couples different meanings together so well.
A suggestion: instead of a full-stop in the last lines of each of the first three stanzas, try a semi-colon. This would not change the meaning, but would change the cadence, and link the two segemnts of the line more closely.
And, "winters" should be "winter's", perhaps?

A great read, thank you.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

Again, I can only truly appreciate your mind and heart, WT.


Agreed with Jim about the, "I swear"s. Also, the ending , something about it, I can't put my finger on it, irks me. I'll have to come back for a second read. Thanks for sharing.


J.A. Fisher

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