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SANCTUARY

On this low bluff I often seek
more with my soul than faded eyes
solitude beside a middling creek
beneath the varied seasons' skies
occasionally at year's demise

I share this time with stalwart fellows
most having seen many a more year
of spring greens and autumn yellows
than this random visitor to here
who sits still as any deer

These fellows are the aged trees
guardians of quiet hoary hollow
too old to be bent by mere breeze
stirring itself through fields gone fallow
while whispering to come and follow

So I sit on the northern side
in shade of lowering dim sun
watching the world just abide
and listening to the water run
until the day is nearly done

I then must rise on aching knees
while ducks and blue cranes fly on past
on their way to roost in distant trees
after their full day's repast
then I turn toward home at last

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

*Sigh* That's my initial response, but not in a bad way whatsoever:)

Title's fitting. Patterns amazingly peaceful. Slightly grandiose use of language at times, but only when fitting, and only because I like simplicity this week. (It's worse than it sounds. But better too.)
Ha! The theme actually reminds me a lot of how I perceive my life sometimes. My sanctuary's my room, and certain heart's. And the world's not an enemy, but not the safest place for soul, sometimes.
As to the beginning and the end. I'm an easy person to please, but a hard one to impress. And the first three lines did impress me, Scribbler. That's about as big a compliment as I can give:)

Now. Enough stroking of the ego. *Cough*

Yours

Waldo

Oh, and p.s. I wouldn't change a thing!

Thank you for visiting and leaving such an encouraging comment. Sorry I've not been able to comment much lately on your or others work. Between work, AEC duties, book project and workshop I've simply been short of time. Hope to get back to calmer schedule soon..............stan PS will now go buy bigger hat to fit swelling head lol

author comment

Don't worry about it. Last night was the first time in two or three weeks that I had the time to comment on something here. And actually, as I'm writing this, I'm only biding a few moments before I should start on some editing... which I love... of course... grrrr!
Anyway, I shall make an effort. And I wish you some free time as well, when the hat-buying's done. Perhaps a bowler hat?

You know me, old see and say lol. Glad you enjoyed it enough to comment on..............stan

author comment
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