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Rain (inspired by Kailishana's Om Shanti Om)

Rain

rain droplets
intermittent patter
wet splotches on the ground
not yet committed
to downpours deluge
somewhere nearby
an open window
I detect the strains
of guitar music
plucked from minor chords
an accompanying voice
lifts me from my reverie
leaving my melancholy
somewhere behind me
unexpected passion
comes to me this night

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Thank you Kailishana
Editing stage: 

Comments

I do not know the song, but I looked up the lyrics and they are beautiful. I am glad you liked this piece. Thank you.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

the most innocent, exciting, resonating, rhythmic, vibrant musical notes are created by natural elements isn't it? that's what you have brought out so nicely in this write...

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

:) Thanks!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I love rain and it seems so do you, Cat. Lovely emotive poem. Inspiration is the greatest gift to be given and to give. It's what life is about...connections of the *spirit* (in spirit ation).

The last sentence I wonder did you mean come?

lifts me from my reverie
leaving my melancholy
somewhere behind me
unexpected passion
came to me in the night

or
come to me, the night..
or come to me this night.

I love the *not yet committed*....rain as a relationship. Cool! May we all be inspired by one another. May we all grow our poetry. It needs rain and sun. ;-)

~A

Thanks for reading and for the suggestion! I think it makes it better.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

My hearts
A-rhythmical motion
Was set to pace,
with your laudable poetry

I hate to waste time
But when I applaud,
I am genuinely sincere,
You are extremely gifted

loved

And you are genuinely appreciated by me!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

mostly some are bold to say ,
i know nothing of poetry ,
which I myself acclaim
But still you are kind to say....................

.....'''''''And you are .....genuinely ......appreciated by me!'''''

loved

(((Loved)))

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Lovely captured rain splotches,
they fall so big and seem to tell us of something to anticipate
and here you do,
sitting quietly watching,
the strains of plucked strings,
like the rain drops patterns
reaches your ears
and fills you with passion.

Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Thank you for your most welcome comment!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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