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Part 2 of a truly offensive poem, for Rhiannon

I'll take Rhiannon's lead and do a limerick

The poet was truly appalling
his peers broke his legs now he's crawling
they ripped out his tongue
and then it was flung,
to the fishes who gave it a mauling

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I couldn't write a limerick to save my life. I think it takes a special skill to do so and to have make it appealing. You have done well with this poetic art form. I like it!

p.s.

Have you ever considered heading up a workshop to instruct and educate poets how to critique? I would attend that workshop if you would have me. My critiquing skills are poor and I could use the education and I'm sure many others could, too.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

My first workshop was on critique and so is the current one. I will do more.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

as i said to rhiannon, i have
a soft spot for a well writ limerick

i think that soft spot comes from my childhood
my grandmother knew a slew of them, and was
always reciting them

a suggestion; perhaps the second line
could begin with "so" instead of "his"?
for me, just seemed a better fit

cheers
p

but it would break the scansion, perhaps a comma at the end of the first line.

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment

perhaps i wasn't clear enough

i meant "so" in place of "his", so the line
would read;

"so peers broke his legs........"
that, i think, doesn't alter the scansion (does it? i'm not too au fait with scansion)

cheers
p

But I really have to ask, what is scansion?

it is terribly important in limericks. Have a quick squiz at my blog
http://new.neopoet.com/weirdelf/blog/mon-2011-08-15-2353

cheers,
Jess, Neopoet Directors
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

author comment
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