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My Problem With On-Line Poetry

My Problem With Online Poetry

when, or if, anyone actually reads this
know the reason i reach out is plain and simple-

attention

this isn’t the problem though.
i thirst for critics praise
or scrutiny evenly-
a bratty child screaming in public
feeling victory in the face of
the mad mommy-
not because i wish to be canonized
or shot down,
but simply to feel i have reached
another person,
even if it’s someone i’ll never know

this isn’t the problem though.
i make suggestions on
other peoples work
simply for the fact that i hope
that they in turn
will tell me what they think of mine,
a greedy play of
give-and-take
with no regard for any
other of the others feelings that
only tried to be helpful

this isn’t the problem though.
i’ll even give specific suggestions
of what i think would improve
others work, thinking myself
to be some wise help
and then shoot down anothers
similar suggestion and try
to make myself seem
smarter or more helpful;
making myself look
a complete ass
But-

this isn’t the problem though.
i’ll quote other renowned poets
work as though i’ve studied them,
as if what i say may have more bearing
to make my works, suggestions
and proliferations
more substantial

this isn’t the problem though.
i’ll write complete but short works
i think are profound
without any proper punctuation
like not putting a comma
before the word ‘though’

this isn’t the problem, though.
(wait, is that right?
there’s no squiggly red line underneath
either way!)

my amateurish remarks
my hubris
my stupidity
all somewhat excused

my problem here
what annoys
and pushes away
all the writers on these websites
all the others i connected with
and spurned
comes from the fact
that i find the courage to
project myself onto these sites
at night when i am inebriated
and without proper
judgment.

i offend
i insult
i indignify
those around me
and myself
i don’t even capitalize
i
as long as I catch it
before posting

i apologize

i vie for attention
and I am far from perfwect.

Please please please
tell me what you think
on all I do

it is all i am
here for, after all

Editing stage: 

Comments

I expect most poets seek attention through their writing whether they admit it or not. I assume this particular poem is meant as a request for feedback and nothing more so I'll try to supply such on future writes.I think reusing the line that isn't the problem though was well and not over used.................stan

to see someone who knows who they are. The ones who will not admit that they write to make contact with others, aren't fooling anyone, not even themselves. This is a rant, pure and simple. But, you have made it interesting. I read the whole thing a couple of times, trying to make sure that I got what you were saying. Keep writing, you will get the attention yoiu are looking for. You have some very good lines here. My favorite was: "A bratty child screaming in public, feeling victory in the face of the mad mommy." There are so many poets here that I really like, that I don't always get time to comment [ or as Jess would have it, critique. ] Sometimes I do not feel that they do not need my added "two cents", because everyone has already said what I might have. After awhile, you find that you just don't comment on everyone all the time. It doesn't take courage to get on the site when you are messed up, just a lack of sense. It sounds like you might be aware of your "Problem" now, so I hope to see good things from you. ~ Geezer

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the refrain
"this isn’t the problem though."
gives it structure. The ideas are clear and you have met a soul-mate here. My worst sins come from inebriation or poor judgement.

Still, don't know if you want to work on it, it seems to say what you want to say, it could use some prosodic revision.

cheers,
Jess
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