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MOUNTAINS IN THE CLOUD

Submitted by t. reflexion on Sat, 2011-08-20 06:10

There are mountains in the cloud
Plains and valleys too

Climbing and cruising at an altitude
Mind, like weather in turbulent times
A state with corresponding attitude
Through the desert or the sea, whilst sun shines

There are mountains in the cloud
Plains and valleys too

Look right, look left, if you get the joke
Like life tossing up and down in motion
Rushing through, you will see them poke
In a gathering storm, where you get a notion

Review Request (Intensity): 
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Review Request (Direction): 
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How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Candlewitch

Tue, 2011-08-23 11:19

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Interesting title and subject matter. when I was much younger I used to lay on my back in the grass and sky gaze both day and night.

always, Cat

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weirdelf

Sun, 2011-08-28 02:35

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try notion.

Otherwise a profound and beautiful poem

cheers,
Jess
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