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Moon Dance

moon dance

dark heavens
hold soft petite
intermittant clouds
moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurely aside
revealing
the silver white
of a copious orb
low in the sky
seemingly
almost within
loving reach
I want to claim it
as my own
as I waltz
to the tune
the moon has inspired
within my soul

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Awsome, a fabulous use of voculary.
Love the whole thing.

love Louise

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Thanks for your read and support.

love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

extraordinary ! A whirling dance of words and images.

joe

Thanks Joe! Your comment is appreciated.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

this creates a sublime image and mood of a soul in peace...i loved its feel...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you. My words do indeed reflect my inner being :)

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

It would be my pleasure to dance with you! Thank you for the comment and the dance!

Love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

a smooth effortless read..............stan

"moving slowly
on gentle breezes
float leisurly aside
revealing..."

moving
float......!
revealing
the rhythm wouldn't be disturbed by the ING.

..the silver white of A copious orb

personally I don't like the "loving reach" another word for loving.

I like the ending.

liesurEly.

I like the "Copious orb" sometimes it appears so extra large.

Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

Thank you for reading and suggesting changes. I have utilized most of them. I can't think of a change for "loving" at the moment, but I will work on it. I'm terrible at spelling and I wish neo had a spell checker for our posts. I'm glad you liked the ending.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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