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LINGERING TEARS

Long suppressed tears
Heart weighty with sorrows
A heavy down pour
In torrential flow

A floating inland
Soaked to overflowing
Wet from inside
Like Lagos rain

Blocked water ways
In a collective wrong
Turned our city
Into an ocean

Tears in my eyes
Like raindrops
Rise to drown
My mortal form

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Both metaphor and allegory.

cheers,
Jess
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