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Lights - splash pool poem posted on behalf of Geezer

Multi-colored streaking lights, wash across my windshield's night
Wiper shadows swishing past, keeping pace with raindrops fast
The motor purrs, and tires shussssh, through icy puddles... slush
Gosh, I guess that Autumn's come, a little cooler, dwindling sun

Geese in their high flying vees, and bright colors in the trees
Squirrels frantic in their gathering, different birds begin to sing
I see the signs of Summer's end, I feel that I have lost a friend
Oh well, it's time to go, the shitty weather tells me so

Editing stage: 

Comments

Have you tried this in rhyming couplets of 4 line stanzas?............stan

and it's still wishy-washy. LOL ~ Gee

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It is kinda wishey-washy. I think I'll work on it. ~ Gee

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I thought this poem was part of the splash pool workshop ?

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Don't post your rewrite until other shop members give their alternative rewrites. You might get some good ideas from them, that's what this shop is for............stan

it is. I just forgot to post it correctly. I'm sorry.
Let me know when to post the re-write. ~ Gee

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