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Let the sun shine :)

Let the sun shine on your face,

Let it wash and let it erase.

The pain of many years,

The upset and fears.

Let the sun wash it all away.

Let the sun shine on your heart,

Let it wash away the fear when you embark.

Let it make you smile with all of your soul,

Let it make you know you are in control.

Let it erase all confusion and doubt,

No matter what it is about.

Let it take over,

Lean back let it cover.

Stretch out your arms, lean back your head, breath deep,

Let the Love of God and Earth make you know you don't have to weep.

Let go, and let the sun shine all over you.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

a nice message you have in this write...i suggest you avoid repetition of the word "Let" ..i believe it would lift up your poem and improve the flow......

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks a bunch i'll give it a whirl. :)

author comment

Okies..i will keep an eye for the edited version...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I love how positive and encourgaing the message is in this poem. It is very good. I enjoyed it so much!

Love-Faith

There must be a poem in here somewhere.

Thank you for your kind words, i wrote that when i began coming out of my shell. My mother in law told me to "Twirl in the sunshine for her" and i did and it felt so good, so i wrote this.
Thank you again.

Sincerely Nichole

author comment
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