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Let me die tonight

Submitted by reichley on Thu, 2011-09-29 00:18

The sound of sweet peace will never come so quickly, but defeat lingers in the air.
Death shows me no mercy, he laughs as I fall and beg, he doesn't care.
My screams in the night are drowned out by the wind, as I beg for forgiveness for all that I have done.
But however, I do not beg death or the one greater, I beg forgiveness from you.
I am nothing just another waste of space among the rest.
I am nothing special just another scar upon flesh.
I have accomplished nothing as if I learned nothing from the past.
I have failed my love ones, of worse of all myself.
Let death come to me tonight, take a hold of my hand old friend .
Take all the pain away I am in, the pain that that keep me screaming.
It's not just physical, but so much unbearable feeling that I can not escape, please give me my fate.
I shall not pray, I will not fight, but please death let me die tonight.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

lou

Thu, 2011-09-29 03:20

lou's picture

Very moving , i can identify with almost all of it.

good stuff.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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