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IT WAS A DREAM - 3

It was a long night of dreams
Traveling the long and narrow road
To where we all gathered to check our names
What was going on, I asked a bystander
I inched into the crowd to see clearly,
Behold, there it was, the Armageddon
Brim stones and fire falling with heat
The abyss was burning with wailing souls
‘It is the judgment Day’, it dawned on me
The goats were separated from the sheep
Heaven on the right and hell on the left
The good and the bad were sorted out
I hid behind the rocks with fear
Wondering where I would be asked to go
Somehow, in that very dream, I told myself
‘It is just a dream, open your eyes’
I was amazed and dumbfounded
The neighbourhood was under storm
Serious evangelism was underway
They claimed to have the right to intrude
To spread the good news through songs and praises
With loud speakers blaring into the night
The noise they made sipped into my dream
And the world came to an end.

Review Request (Intensity): 
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What did you think of my title?
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Comments

I was amazed and dumbfounded
The neighbourhood was under storm
Serious evangelism was underway
They claimed to have the right to intrude
To spread the good news through songs and praises
With loud speakers blaring into the night
The noise they made sipped into my dream
And the world came to an end.

becomes the only useful part of this trilogy as it is written. Take my word for it, no-one wants to read other people's dreams. 'it was just a dream' is the worst deus ex machina in writing. If you re-wrote them as surrealism they would work better.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

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