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I'm Dog Tired Again

I haven't been dog tired
For some time
I usually pace myself
To preserve my health
Today I changed routine
Now I’m sleepy and winded

I missed my eye appointment Wednesday
So I rescheduled for Friday
Since I keep my mornings lazy
My appointments are later in the day
But, it wasn't so today
Because I had to make some changes

A week ago I was diagnosis with iritis
The cause of my eye and facial pain
Doctor prescribed three daily drops of steroids
Tapering off after third week
Currently my eyes are back to normal
As good as was four month earlier

Doc’s final prognosis is cataract forming on my lens
The cause of my constant blurred vision
Probably, why I see green faces and yellow walls
Sometimes green as I awake from sleepiness
Doctor said eyes adjusting to light after sleep
Takes these drops, come back in a week

Four months from now I’ll go back to see the doctor
I’m hoping to keep sight for just a little longer
Being sick all the time is hard as heck, but
Feeling dog tired is a burden not a load
Because people can help carry a load
But not a burden

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

your melancholic mood is palpable as is fatigue due to constant worrying...but as you might be aware...due to advances in science and technology a cataract affected lens can now be replaced with another lens and the success rate in such surgical intervention is very good...so cheer up friend!!

you could consider doing away with "as heck" from the title since "Dog Tired" means the same...

best wishes...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I learn something new tonight - I didn't know dog tired meant heck, just thought dog tired meant tired.
thanks for the pep talk. i knew about the lens transplant for cataract because my dad had one several years ago when i was in my early twenties.

Glaucoma and cataract rule as king in my family from my granddad, aunts, and uncles on my dad side who all went blind before death except one aged uncle still living. Now me, two brother, my youngest son now 19 yrs. who was diagnosis at age sixteen, and my mother suffer with this eye disease.

thanks for commenting i really appreciate it

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

i didnt mean to say that "heck" and "dog tired" mean the same...what i had meant was that even without "as heck again" .."I am dog tired" would still express extreme nature of your fatigue...

i hope you and you beloveds are safe and not in Hurricane "Irene" path...wishing the very best for all those who are affected to be safe...

raj (sublime_ocean)

silly me. i see what you meant now
thanks for the suggestions

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

thanks for reading and commenting. you are right this problem is inner as there is inflammation inside my eye. i have loss 90% of vision in my right eye already due to glaucoma. now after 5 years of fighting glaucoma with two eye surgeries. now i.m forming cataract in its early stage as was glaucoma when i was first diagnose. thanks for the health tip.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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i have been getting treatment since 2006 when the pressure was first detected in its early stage. then i had a 100% sight in both eyes, and glaucoma in only the right. i get regular treatment from an specialist in both fields. thanks for the encouraging words they really make a difference.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

I would fail to be your as a friend if I didn't point out that this is descriptive prose, not poetry, despite the rhymes.

It needs to be pruned severally to remove all un-necessary language.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

as always you've been a friend. i have learn a lot from you and expect to see your suggestions coming. i know nothing about prose. i just write according to my own disposition. your comments help me to learn the difference in the many poetic writing style. i will keep writing what come to me so i can lean more and better understand poetry as you and many others do here. thanks i really appreciate it.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

I like dog tired. I have been dog tired as heck before, either works for me, yet for a title, something that might be more understood would be "I'm"

i appreciate your comment and suggestions

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

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