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I’m not Blind! Or Am I? Blog Conversion OLD WINE INnew Botlles
I’m not Blind! Or Am I?
I am not colour blind
But blind,
And my hearts’
Not red,
I’m told it’s white
Red hot
That's how I live
So ever after,
happily
Let love be blind
But under the sheets
No lights are needed
Tis the warmth of the hearth
The breath
That we value most
You love me
And
I’d you toast
So is loves divinity
A gift of eternity
Where’s the need
Of others invasion,
When love and lust
Can be the very most
Satisfying equation
Ah! Cause of
A loveliest incision
As two merge
With one another
Arrives a younger
Yours must just rise
Then you will
Even if you
Really are blind
See love
With your third eye
Beneath the blinds
If you really have one
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Sat, 2011-12-03 13:25
This is why you are on my fans list
Mate, this is fucking beautiful poetry.
Each word perfectly chosen and where it needs to be.
May I offer you bees knees stamp?
cheers,
Jess
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loved
Sat, 2011-12-03 22:31
...and the fucking credit
goes to you without any second thought
.Thanks
loved
wesley snow
Sat, 2011-12-03 13:44
I'll go with Jess here,
but for the line breaks in the last bits. I have no idea how to rearrange them (and wouldn't expect you to), but I stumbled with them. Ah, free verse. It is a difficult concept. Otherwise a sharp work.
istan
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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loved
Sun, 2011-12-04 03:24
free is
as free as loved
or better still,
ISTAN is
Thanks let it be
as it is
loved
Geezer
Sun, 2011-12-04 16:29
What...
can I say, after those glowing endorsements?
Great work, Loved. ~ Gee
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
loved
Sun, 2011-12-04 22:32
You have said
much more
with your seasoned silence.
Thanks
loved