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Humor in Writing Workshop 2- Vampire

There was a vamp who did bite
All the ladies took fright
His speed was such
He didn’t move too much
But fell on a spike from a height

Editing stage: 

Comments

you really need to read them aloud.
Hear the difference

There was a vamp who did bite
the ladies took a big fright
His speed was such
He didn’t move much
But fell on a spike from a height

lines 1,2 and 5 scan the same, 3 and 4 are shorter.
cool getting a half rhyme in the last line

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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