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The Hollow Men Part 1 for parsing in meter workshop

by TS Eliot.

I

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rats’ feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Last few words: 
Use / to separate feet and Ctrl B to make Bold stressed syllables.
Editing stage: 

Comments

or you failed to use / and bold

try again

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

and define the stressed syllables in bold.

I told you it wouldnn't be easy and Anna made it hader by "giving" us free verse.
With all due due love, Anna, fuck you.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

Fuck you too*, with all due respect, you didn't have to use it, did you? Did I bend your arm? Did I hold a gun in my pocket? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooo.

~A

*and your kookaburra bird too.

Just listen to Spoken Verse's reading. The poem heard when spoken is truly the right hearing/reading with the appropriate stresses.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwcP3NOCeiE

Besides this is the listening we should be paying attention to... it's too easy with rhyme.

~A

p.s. If you want easy, listen & then approach the last paragraph.

We are the HOLLOW men
We are the STUFFED men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. ALAS!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper TOGETHER
Are quiet and MEANINGLESS
As wind in dry GRASS
Or rats’ feet over broken GLASS
In our dry CELLAR

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—IF AT ALL—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

My reading would emphasize the capitalized words, which does form a rhyming pattern of sorts, not conventional of course, but so it is, in my opinion. Me, I'd probably flunk any class that is too wound & bound up in rules of engagement rather than intuitive understanding, rather than manifesting.

~A

and didn't break it into feet. but I'm not going to fill them in for you, you chose the piece, you do the work.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

Easier with Shskespesre.Byron or Yeats
but don't think for a second Eliot handn't studied meter meticulously and knew what hw was doing.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

by knowing the options.
that's my point,
you are limited to your own natural language,
Write a classic sonnnet, I dare you.
Don't even know why you are in this workshop, you are so arrogant in your plebian style,

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

is the tremorassegai your own invention?

You rose to the challenge admirably.

And you're right, it wasn't just cultural, I was being a cranky old snot, my apologies.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

WE are the HOL/low MEN
WE are the STUFFED men
LEAN/ing TO/gether
HEAD/piece filled with straw. AL/as!
Our DRIED voices, when
We WHIS/per together
Are QUI/et and MEAN/ingless
As WIND in dry grass
Or rats’ FEET over BROKE/en glass
In our DRY cellar

Shape without form, shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death’s other Kingdom
Remember us—if at all—not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

I didn't go to the link and listen, thought I'd try the
first stanza before going there.

After having listened to the link Anna provided,
I have to agree, at least partly, with Eph. I think the
reading was a bit clinical, could have been a tad
livelier with added stress points. I suppose that is
where culture, language, and by language I mean the
many different accents of the English Language, and
certainly poetic knowledge comes into play.

as monotonously as possible. He didn't want to give anything away that the wrords themselves didn't reveal. It is splendid to hear this piece performed by a trained voice. I've looked but haven't found a link yet.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

I'm positive I didn't get this even close. Thoughts on it Jess?

WE are the/ HOllow men
WE are the /STUFFED (or STUFFÉD) men
LEANING to/GEther
HEADpiece /FILLED with /STRAW. /alAS!
our dried VOI/ces, WHEN
we WHI/sper toGE/ther
are QUI/et and MEAN/ingless
As WIND /in dry GRASS
Or RATS/(’ this is not stressed) FEET/ over BRO/ken GLASS
In OUR /dry CEL/lar
SHAPE without /FORM, /SHADE without CO/lour,
PARalysed /FORCE, /gesture without motion; ? (a molussus?)
those /who have CROSSED
with dirECT/(?) eyes, /to DEATH’S/ other KING/dom
ReMEM/ber US—IF at /ALL—NOT as /LOST
VIOlent /SOULS, but /ONly
as the HOL/low MEN
the STUFFED men.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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never intended to be parsed.
I agree with the job you did. Lot's of work there, you're a braver man than me Wesley Din.

Here's a hint to make parsing easier. See the drop down below the comment box  that says Simple formatting?  Click on that and select Advanced formatting, then paste the poem into the box, select each stressed syllable and hit ctrl B, this will convert the text to Bold instead of having to re-type it in caps.

gesture without motion
I don't think a molossus
gesture/ without/ motion

trochee/iamb/trochee

but regional accents could well changes the stresses here.

cheers,
Jess
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author comment

...I agree. Many of those lines could have been stressed multiple ways. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

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