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Hark!

Hark! hark!
A raven in the clouds.
A slight of sleet,
A chilly hand,
A malevolent spirit barks:

Howl! Howl!
The birds and owls.
The beasts of night
Are feeding fast.

Caw! Caw!
The sound of death.
The funeral gate
Is void of hope.

Leave! Leave!
The reaper calls
Within his solemn,
Melancholy hall:

"To death, they die,
For death, they lie.
For loss, they mourn,
For hope they cry!"

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
It was spontaneous. Judge it by the moment.
Editing stage: 

Comments

The title gets one's attention right off! I like the flow and style of this piece. The subject matter is of great interest to me. I like these lines best:

Caw! Caw!
The sound of death.
The funeral gate
Is void of hope.

Leave! Leave!
The reaper calls
Within his solemn,
Melancholy hall:

and the ending is climactic.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Honored. Thank you Candlewitch. This really is a mood lift. I think I feel quite confident already.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

as you ask, excellent for live reading...

On re-reading and contemplation it feels a bit derivative and archaic, Poe with shorter lines. Merely an observation, not a suggestion for change. We should go where our muse leads us, especially when she dictates directly! [grins]

Yes, I would like to read more poetry like this.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

It's some of those things with poetry. We work out the tropes till they are tired. And then we do not stop. I must admit I didn't get the time to "think differently". :)

I like the fact that you pointed that out. Very honest. And I think Poe's the best thing to happen to American poetry. Ok, one of the best...

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

I must say I lean towards the dark side when my thoughts are unguarded.

Thanks for liking this one.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment
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