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Green Eyes

The beauty in your green eyes
Steals and it seals,
The beauty of your heart
As well

If only I wish
I was much younger, than still
Your beauty I'd devour at will
But it’s too late in my life,
The sun is about to set,
The horizon is far, distant away…

I can't stay,
Even if you want me to play

My good times have lapsed
And passed away
Some other time,
We shall meet, we hope
And
in your life flowers will someone lay
Who with your loveliest eyes can play?

Adieu ma'am,
My times up
I can't your eyes ever cup...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

any better now,
hopefully yes..

loved

author comment

Too real. Honest and gentle, simple even. I see nothing I would alter. istan

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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brass vessel,
which makes much noise ,
but is loud and clear
when suitably polished

loved

author comment

You might feel attacked by me at times but it's a compulsion that takes me when I read lesser works by those who I know can do better.

I am touched.

This is definitely one of the better.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

to you .Have a good day

loved

author comment

maybe I provoke you in some ways, but you write the poetry.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

still goes to you .
Without a master ,
no student can produce
the invaluable goods.

loved

author comment

Stanza 2, line 2.........I think the afore mentioned problem might reside in the word "than". Have you considered changing it to then or maybe deleting it? I agree with those above that this is one of your better poems..........stan

an implication that
i am now ...still .. half incomplete breathless perhaps sentence

and thanks for ur lovely words all of you...

loved

author comment
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