Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

To the Girl in the Gallery

I want to take you to the centre of the thousand little statues
and make love above their watching eyes.
I want to take you round the gallery,
show me your feelings,
and I'll show you mine.
I want to take you to my dingy room
and make love on the floor,
under the naked globe.
I want to take you.
I want to ask you your name.
I want to take you to my friends
and see you shy or sparkling.
I want you to take me to your friends
and see you proud or shamed.
I want to love you and teach you and feed on you.
I want you to love me and want me and stay with me.
I want you to use me and tire of me.
I want to hold on silently pleading,
knowing not knowing its all over.
I want you to hurt me and leave me and come back
and hurt me and leave me and come back
and hurt me and leave me and come back
until you are finally really gone.
I want to hurt and cry
and want to die.
Then I want to go to the gallery, again.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

very interesting. I like the images presented and the thought that went into it. This seems "from the heart", which is not always a bad thing, despite what some say. I must confess that I was intriqued by your honesty in the development of your approach. Nice touch with the line; "and hurt me and leave me and come back. At first I thought it a mistake that it was twinned, but then realised that it was intentional for the emphasis. Good work! ~ Gee

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

you bastard! Only useless poets claim to write from the heart. We all do!
Some just learn to write and do it better than others.

I won't name the utterly useless poets that refuse to learn their craft by claiming to to "write from the heart".
Wish I could, but it would probably get me suspended again.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment

This reminds me of the thoughts that go through a shy teenagers mind when he catches sight of a pretty girl. A few of the lines run a bit long but sometimes it takes a long line to convey intent. Not bad for a free verse love poem lol..........stan

I have no idea why this took me back to 19 and all the related adventures of that time! I relate to it as the protagonist, the girl, whichever, both! I loved it. Perhaps I'll wait in the gallery for your next visit! ;)
Cheers
Boni

Bonitaj

But in Australia!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.