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Goldenrod explode on the road sides
on a cool day 'neath the leaden sky
with black eyed Susans close as brides,
yellows exhaled by fall's first sigh.

Among the forests poplars turn,
gold sprinkled among somber green
like specks of butter in a churn
foretelling colors yet unseen.

Not yet time for the orange blaze
of hickory or maple trees
glowing through calm morning haze
or flickering in a gentle breeze.

Nor has come the scheduled red
of holly berries and oak leaves
(or camelias in the flower bed)
after the first frost and freeze.

This announcement we all heed
has been so long awaited.
These first colors which will lead
to this season greatly anticipated.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
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Editing stage: 


a beautiful picture of Fall you have painted here..

i suggest you tweak up the second stanza to make it read suggestion for line #8 could be

foretelling colors not yet seen
foretelling colors yet unseen

must say though that you relate to nature superbly...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you. I'll probably let this gather a few more comments before editing...........stan

author comment

I'm not happy with that line either. Thanks for the read and suggestion...........stan

author comment

That sounds pretty good. I'll let sit a day or so before changes get made. Who knows, I might come up with an idea that uses yours with something of mine too lol...........stan

author comment

Hey friend, this is really pretty. It's a little frustrating knowing this is only place I can read some of you. I like Xena's alternative, but I think it needs an extra syllable. wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Uh Oh! guess I'm getting punctuation lazy again lol. Will correct along with prior suggested changes in a day or so.............stan

author comment
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