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Gift (love poem for emotions workshop)

Gift
(dedicated to Shirley Harrison on her wedding)

diving into liquid velvet
surrounded by translucent light
a feeling of slowly falling
into the darkened sky of night

the million cares of the day
so worrisome in their plight
fall away with the setting sun
taking wing with angel's flight

I hear your voice so clear
in the cunning darkness falling
It comes to me in ecstasy
I hear your deep voice calling

promises of sweet retreat
I see them in your eyes
like the gathering of moonbeams
I reply in gentle sighs

this special time to spend with you
Is all I ever need or ask
in this time of evening sweet
we strip away our masks

we will lay under the sky
with moon and starlight streaming
kisses sweet we will repeat
while all the world lies dreaming

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
This piece is a love poem without the use of the word "love", for the emotions workshop. It is also a dedicated to Shirley Harrison for her wedding.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Makes love seem so wonderful, and not a mention of love.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

LOL! Then I have acheived my purpose! Thanks so much.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

I damned near killed myself on the anger poem, LOL! I guess I was too angry! But, I am very happy with the way this poem turned out. Shirley has told me that she put it into her wedding book!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Do remember us also always
lovedly
do convey
to Shirley

loved

Shirl knows and is grateful to have friends like you. Thanks!

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

Grateful is one
Who loves the worth of another one?
So as we all on the Internet move,
Some new ones arrive,
Few go,
Others who miss the fun
Do often return
Hopefully, till the sunrises each morn
And
The horizon isn't forlorn,
The skies remain blue,
As much as the sea
I’m quite sure Neopoet
Will many elite poets see?
Those who finally bring us all
To lime light
And
Hope we all add
A wee bit of our mite

loved

Thank you for your suppost and the kindness of your offer. I am in touch with the darling girl through e-mail. I wuish her only the best life has to offer.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment

very gentle poetry with lots of depth..the words caress like ripples lapping at two swans in love

this will surely make Shirley's heart throb and thrill her as she readies for her wedding...a lovely gift she will treasure....i suggest you write it on a greeting and send it by snail mail...she would love that absolutely...

raj (sublime_ocean)

Your idea is brilliant! I wish I had thought of it sooner. But I already sent it to her in an e-mail. She told me that she copied it out and is putting it in her wedding book.

Thanks anyway, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

author comment
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