Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

GHANA MUST GO

It is one more story how these bags came
Or to bear the name now, ‘Ghana must go’
Amongst traders, they carry their wares
Our parliament, said to have used it once
To carry looted money to bribe for a bill
Publicly displayed in-house to lobby and lure
For votes that will increase their incidentals
Emolument for security and tenure elongation

Like the Ghanaians, when they left our shores
Thirteen months passed, I stashed my wares up
I bought these bags and cartons, to pack them
My assets obscured there-in till they rot away
Wandering from forest to streets for space
Till sango beckoned on me to come to Ogun
Through these bags, rats bore bottom holes
And turned the contents to shreds and shits

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Thank you, writing under the pen name ‘t. reflexion’ over the years seems to have insulated me from the expression of personal feelings. You are right, I have to write the way I feel, though I have written about myself and the things happening around me, my need to protect the sanctity of other people’s privacy comes top in my mind, especially when the society can not guaranty adequate security from attack in any form. I have noted this point and I will begin to explore my emotions and feelings. Thank you very much and best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.