Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Get Out Here Right Now!...

Wee hours of the morning, I writhe as I write
My soul is tortured, and I'm drawing blanks
There is something here in the deepest of night
Will my muse appear, if I drop and give thanks?

Black shadow of perspective, hidden from me
I know you lurk there in the back
I stand on tip-toe, trying to see
Looking through a small jagged crack

I hear whispers of presence, I know you are there
There is horror in this unsleeping room
The empty halls don't lead anywhere
I stumble, flail away to my doom

I have called my demons once too often, I think
Rattled their cages and fled
I'm afraid of the shower, I smell of fear, I stink
In the bathroom, there's someone who's dead

All his skin is shriveled, his eyes turned up in
His mouth is hung open, his blood down the drain
He's missing the flesh from his right bony shin
I think zombies have eaten his brain

There must be one monster left, one who still lives
Unholy terror on squealing wheels
The kind of evil, that gives and gives
With a little help from Satan's deals

Come out from the closet, out from under the bed
Don't hide, it's too late, I can find you
"Cause you're all right here, in my little head
Com'on you got a real job to do

If this does'nt do it, this poem of mine
Satisfy the thirst of the darkside
I will swallow my pride; the last of my wine
Get under the covers, and hide

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

i am here a lot lately in the wee hours of the morning writing poetry, doing my home work.

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka. All Neopoets welcome to join the Collaborative Poetry Writing Workshop.
https://pixiblogs.blacpixi.com/

that you are not scared to go to the bathroom. There may be zombies in there! Thanks for the read.
~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment

Ouch!

~

it's true. I write for all those people like me. I know you are there! Thanks for the read, ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment

I don't mind looking for my muse, it's just that they leave me the cleaning up afterwards! ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment

it took you somewhere. Yes, an evil mind is a terrible thing to waste. So I try hard to be brilliant whenever I can. You aren't wrong, that is the main feel of this poem. Thanks ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment

Good stuff.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Just a little taste of what is to come for October. ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment

Maybe you should shave tne back of your neck! LOL I am glad you enjoyed it, and there is plenty more where that came from. It's October! My favorite Holiday coming... Halloween! Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee P.S. Chat on Sat. night from 8 to 10 pm. if you can make it.

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.