Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

F i v e

my palm
and pressed within
the secrets
that cut and burn
that run cold like an ache

beneath this starry flame
i make no claims

but you
you know my walk
my lean
and press your hip
along the edge
where we watch
for our ghosts

Editing stage: 

Comments

you have intriqued me once again, with your intuitive grasp of lovers and their thoughts. I agree with Rosi, it does seem to read a little smoother, the way she describes the lines. ~ Gee

Please acknowledge critique and comments.
They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

When I built scultptures some of them are raw
I used to equate smoothness with running low under the radar
loosing their stark contrast I so desire at times
and yet how I can write smooth
or once did on Old Neo as Orgami

I take this in consideration to think about while
crafting new works
Thank you my freinds

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.