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Dreamer

A dreamer

That’s all I’ll ever be

Give me a day

I’ll dream a Sea.

Consumed by fantasy

Within me is a place I’d rather be

Yet I live a life that isn’t me

Interested in nothing

Fearing nothing

There is no one I’d rather be

Family and friends think they understand me

I see life as a tree

A cycle of constant velocity

The norms of society, don’t apply to me

I desire to go about it differently.

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Comments

Ephraim was right, you should change 'doesn't' to 'don't'.

The lines-
I see life as a tree,
A cycle of constant velocity.
seem to me to lack internal logic. Trees and velocity? Only when they've been chopped down mate. I suspect you fell victim to rhyme.

But a good poem.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

Glad you liked it. I will make the appropriate changes. Yeah Weirdelf, your right I fell victim to the rhyme there,lol. As you may have recognized, i'm new to the poetry thing. Its a hobby I picked up a couple years ago. A pity the old neopoet site crashed, lost a few of my work. However Xena, i think i'll take you up on that. The time i have is limited but we can work something out

Cheers,

JahLo
"A light complexion, graceful carriage, and a bewitching smile- those constitute a woman's true worth"

author comment

I read and enjoyed your poem. Especially these lines:

I see life as a tree

A cycle of constant velocity

The norms of society, don’t apply to me

I desire to go about it differently.

always, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

Realy? Those are my favorite lines as well. And Rosi, thanks for the help, I will apply that style for my other poems as well.

Cheers

JahLo
"A light complexion, graceful carriage, and a bewitching smile- those constitute a woman's true worth"

author comment
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