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Composite (for emotions workshop) *Plus*

Workshop piece composite on emotions:

I hear your voice so clear
in the cunning darkness falling
It comes to me in ecstasy
I hear you deep voice calling

she has duped many a soft-hearted fool
even though she's a practiced hand

vicious bitch of maliciousness
once claimed to be my friend
how you used and abused me

she wished for them
to feast upon
little green apples
with tiny brown worms

Ghosts and demons at her heels,
caring not for her plaintive appeals.
On her trail, they have her scent.

he gave to me miseries untold
coloring the rest of my life

*this really sucks


a poem using all the emotions:


having observed her
he careened into
cavernous infatuation
he fell into the mysteries
of her soft lines
and sharp angles
her periods of
alternating melancholy
and indifference
vexed him to no good end
setting off feelings
of trepidation and isolation
he despised her attentions
to any other subject
than their mutual adoration
his greed for her singular attention
was monumental in nature
his dread of losing her
sent him into spasms of distress
he did not tumble into
soft billowing cushions
of sheep shaped clouds
no- he careened into
their wild union

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 


a lovely collage of emotions indeed...

raj (sublime_ocean)

A truly skillful poem, it is layered so that it becomes a tastey treat,

Love Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

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