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CLARITY OF DAWN (some Haiku)

Before the sunrise
autumn colors clearly seen
without the blue haze

All is frosted white
as last stars desert the sky
chased by rising sun

Silence rules the world
no breath of wind stirs the air
the morning stage waits

The still is broken
by the sharp snap of a twig
as a doe drifts by

* seems I can never write just one Haiku lol

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I've committed the same crime with my "Haikookas"
http://new.neopoet.com/node/2669
although I like to think each haiku works there on its own.

I can't say the same here, it works as a single poem composed in haiku verses. Not a bad thing, a very successful experiment.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

I reckon it shows that even when using Haiku I have a hard time saying all I want on a particular subject in 17 syllables lol...............stan PS I can see how these could be taken as a free verse type poem and that now gets me to thinking about intentionally writing some rhyme and free verse with 3 line stanzas..............stan

author comment

LOL

Read the comments! have to agree with you, haiku never seem to say enough.

These are wonderful. But one thing, the last haiku, I read "still" as a whiskey still, LOL which says everything about my poor abused mind, I guess.

Good stuff.

Respectfully, Jim

"Laws and Rules don't kill freedom: narrow-minded intolerance does" - Race-9togo

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/Race_9togo

So you know about Dooley his still and 2 daughters? lol. Good to see you drop by..............stan

author comment

Yo, you should get together with Brittle Light. http://new.neopoet.com/node/638

On Algonquin's Table. One haiku usually stirs the pot.
http://www.algonquinstable.net/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=13140

Here's an oldie I wrote comprised of 26 haikus, about 8 or 9 years ago, a sort of song the way it *came together* when I selected them randomly from a huge pile of haikus, written on poetry.com (I think)

a song in 26 Haikus

if daffodils sang
my saddest love song for you
would you listen then?

have you wondered why
that great answer of silence
exists everywhere?

strata of colour
layer upon life layer
yet we choose each shade

intersecting now
illusions, past and future
falling, fallen grace

always a corner
filled with light, sun or moonbeam
as in a dark heart

at its center, red
like blood out of which life flows
perfect flowering

take me far away
on gossamer angel wings
don't tell me where, when

having been tricked once
not quite right light obscure truth
memories shadows

what stands before me
edge of eternity, fear
before I leap, calm

all rainbows exist
each living duality
when time meets water

of mirror fragments
and truth reflections shattered
or lies rather lived

there is honesty
trees bare of leaf and colour--
earth simply stated

I envy the world
where suns rise and set untouched
where skies hold the truth

when trees shed their leaves
I stand alone uncovered
bare miracles both

in a dream we met
I learned patience and I knew
all sacred oneness

shaman spoke to me
in muted sepia tones
my soul understood

I too remember
graceful scenes of youth now gone
stored in secret flesh

high the ocean swells
I am a water bird flight
movements of freedom

would that I could be
delicate enough to love
even that which hurts

bare tree silhouette
pale purple, reddening sky
magnificent eve

pure white perfection
ever hold fast your secrets
decay, death and rose

truly no words speak
no breath no life no colour
washed ashore humbly

we are all rainbows
sometimes clashing now and then
between light and dark

stretched to my limits
above and beyond colour
I become seeing

I am rock and sea
crushing crashing then soft breeze
a strange oddity

of smaller dragons,
green-hopping now fence flying,
birds of prey waiting

Milton left words here
truth beauty and paradise
now love has found me

my brief interlude
midnight spendor sea and sky
to sleep once again

pure severity
covered white upon whiteness
a timeless waiting

how does the eye see
everything but its own self?
Strange intimate shore

hello sea sky earth
I feel so alive today
connected senses

mountains and mirrors
a yearn to climb and reflect
Tao in Balance

if I remember correctly one of the Ku's is missing a syllable for the 5-7-5 version.

Keep on trucking Scribe. You know you love Haikus.

;-)

This is without a doubt the longest Haiku series I've read lol. I find Haikus( and Rhykus) ideal in getting a very short image across. Thanks for the time to read and comment............stan PS now to find that missing syllable

author comment

... ekphrastic poetry. I agree with Jess. This is a single poem written with haiku like Anna's (which is outrageous). Not a bad thing. I just don't get it, that's all. Too sophisticated for my puny mind.
wesley

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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It is not meant to be a single poem but rather a number of poems on the same subject. Learning and occasionall y using Haiku can be a great tool for focusing one's mind on essentials..............stan

author comment

nicely done...

just a wee bit of suggestion

All is frosted white
as last stars desert the sky
chased by coming sun (chased by rising Sun)

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thanks for dropping by! I appreciate that suggestion and will likely use it...............stan

author comment
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