Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
caravan
there's a complicity of silence
in a poet's hands
sometimes what is withheld
will
rise and fall like phases of the moon
everywhere
the water, and sound strings
beads together into initiations of prayer
but in the desert where poets go to pray
the ritual is under fire;
the sun is demanding:
what is written must be heard
waterfalls are wells here,
they come swiftly in the night
to dream
a thousand lotus dreams
the dreamer
tethered to a camel
alone again.
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
weirdelf
Tue, 2011-07-19 08:33
There is no denying the beauty
of your imagery and meaning....
do I have to say it?
It is derivative.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
themoonman
Tue, 2011-07-19 16:32
alone and thirsty
yet, we are never quite alone ... we would perish quickly
if that were so, there is always the caravan, always has been,
and as long as man roams, there will be the need of each other,
but ... I too like to spend my time in the desert sands, alone.
Abstract Anna, but so rich is this for me that I have to keep
reading, and that I've found to be the most intriguing quality
of some of your writes, the pull to return ... yes, love this one.
Richard
raj
Wed, 2011-07-20 23:36
Anna
much has already been said about this write by those before me...i will just add that i find it a very absorbing experience to travel through the lanes of those lines..thanks for sharing the perspective of a caravan..
raj (sublime_ocean)
pleiades
Thu, 2011-07-21 07:13
when i first read this poem,
when i first read this poem, there was only
weirdelf's comment, and i could see why he
thought it derivaitive
however i came back and re-read a few days later
(as i often do), and felt like i was reading a completely different poem
in fact, i had to check to see if there was anything under "revisions",
such was the completely different understanding, and feeling
that i experienced
i think this is wonderful
such an internal journey this took me on...
and such imagery it churned in my mind...
a kaleidoscope of pictures rushing
"initiations" i completely understand
yet i also kept thinking "intonations", melding
the complicity of silence, to the water and
sound strings
i don't mention intonations because i think
it should be changed to that word, just to
say how this poem made me delve, and opened
other avenues of interpretation
wildheart...there is so much beauty
in this
i keep reading it over and over
i think of...
the book "caravans'...(if you haven't read it, DO...james a michener)...
my friend who lives in riyadh, and takes her
family into the desert on hot summer nights...
bedouins...
the lone poet, struggling, then finding his oasis...
i have no more words...i think i would just
woffle on if i continued
A...i absolutley love this
it resonates within
and plucks at some deep strings
love and admiration
p
weirdelf
Thu, 2011-07-21 11:45
having read pleides comment
I went back and re-read this and... yes, forgive the prosaic analogy but I think you have made a new cake from the same ingredients.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Kailashana2
Thu, 2011-07-21 12:06
Thank you all for reading and
Thank you all for reading and sharing your thoughts. I joined a new poetry group a few days ago, and somehow, a new blood has been infused into me by *joining*. All poets go through poetic evolution; once it was my *gleanings* that suffused it with new blood, now it seems the more I extend to other poets, my poetry, though using the same imagery, might seem to take on new meanings... My openness crosses the line between I* and *Thou*.
In any case, once a poem is written, it is for the reader to abstract...
Love to all.
There's a Bedouin in all of us. WInks dear p.
~A
author comment