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The Beginnings of Goodbye

wandering through town
washed clean by the last deluge
sparkling black shimmered
and I found peace under a rock
in rows of corn

I drank water and broke bread
as two hundred miles
separate two half hearts
ever aching and reaching
for your touch

I miss you
as I'll love you
forever

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Thanks Rosi and Ian and Judd x x
Editing stage: 

Comments

back to a night I was broken-hearted, and walking around my little town, wondering what did I ever do to warrant such pain in my heart! My first love had broken up with me! I know it isn't what this one is about, but I was brought back to the pain. Good poem! " not all my emotions have to pleasurable to be good" ~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Hey! are you sober now..you go places don't you when you get drunk :)

raj (sublime_ocean)

'as two hundred miles
separated two half hearts'
- imho 'separate' - present tense - would work better...

beautiful write jc
love and big hugs
judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

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