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~be still
wait
dark wind
slip softly through the shadows
of white-washed air
stay
unseen
like ghost rain
be
unheard
like the migration of clouds
there is a meadow
of a thousand lost fireflies
that dream in my eyes
like distant stars
over moon-bright water
wait
dark wind
as crickets sing
the softest lullaby
let nightfall
cradle my evergreens
soothe my mountain soul
and when
the yellow trail of morning
dances upon blue waves of sky
and awakens a circle of sun
I find the transparency
of a dewdrop
as it slides the curves
of an emerald blade
and I am unafraid
of your dark wind
breath
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Candlewitch
Fri, 2011-07-29 12:52
Hello,
Wonderful verse! Beautiful and awe inspiring. I usually pick out favorite lines to quote back to the poet, but in this case, I cannot. Because they are ll so good, each and every line! By the way... nice to meet you!
always, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Ink Artist
Fri, 2011-07-29 14:30
thanks
thank you for the lovely comment, cat. nice to meet you, too. :)
~lori
"I am the lonely soul of a waterfall."
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-07-29 20:28
as cat said, beautiful verse,
I love the construction that allows the space to speak for stillness, although I think that could be further enhanced by removing the double spacing between consecutive lines.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Ink Artist
Mon, 2011-08-01 08:17
thanks
thank you for stopping by and your lovely comment and suggestions. :)
~lori
"I am the lonely soul of a waterfall."