Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

assorted limericks

As the washing went round and rotated
She sat on the top and gyrated
As the spinner begun
She said, “This is fun”
And finished her laundry elated

Now American football enthrals
There are plays there are tackles and falls
It’s not stagnant or staid
And it’s usually played
By men with oddly shaped balls

A lady called Margaret Prideaux
Was a pretty but lonely young widow
Though she no longer frowned
When the plumber came round
For she really enjoyed what he did, oh!

A lawyer who sought approbation
Had a penchant towards litigation
He would argue his case
With a smile on his face
Then win in his final summation

A plumber called Geoffrey Golightly
Enjoyed making love almost nightly
But he got such a clout
When his wife caught him out
Now he’s holding his toolbox quite tightly

A young lady still in her teens
Purchased a new pair of jeans
The jeans were too tight
And try as she might
She couldn’t help busting the seams

There once were two elderly vicars
Who had unreliable tickers
But they perked up no end
When they saw a lass bend
And got a good view of her knickers

Editing stage: 


I thought these were pretty funny. You have a gift for making limericks. I liked the one about the vicars especially. Great stuff. ~ Gee

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

these had me in splits...barring few i believe rest of these limericks comply to the limerick sequence of rhyme...a nice and enjoyable read for sure...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I love a good limerick, few appreciate what fine craft and un-sullen art it is.
I forgive you for the mutant sexual relations.

Neopoet Directors

Your forgiveness is not required, thanks, it's all perfectly normal stuff, I love a little bawdyness at times and limericks are ideal, thanks for taking notice.


Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting “Holy shit……What a ride!”

author comment

I fear you take me amiss, it was not your relations I referred to as mutant but the form of that one limerick, all the rest were perfect. Limericks are at there best with a little, or a lot, bawd, never think me a prude, sir.

Neopoet Directors

Whoops, that little rascal must have crept in when I wasn't looking, it's been banished now and replaced with another which may also be considered slightly "deviant"


author comment

Love it!

Neopoet Directors

Friday night is pub night, after putting the world to rights, by 2 am the conversation starts getting smutty, if it hasn't done so already. It's surprising how many ideas are bandied about during the course of an evening. Remembering the next day is sometimes a problem though.


author comment
(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.