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PROCRASTINATION

Worthless Lethargy
Zilch to nothingness
We hang fire
Put off the flame
Dally handed on as delay

This block to progress
Keeping me deferring
Till the morrow
Evening exploits of today

When we holdup
Or drag our feet
Then postpone
Our good intentions
The world suffers

I need determination
For nothing is so hard
Lest my aspiration
Be for naught

Procrastination poses
Real danger to progress
It is a modern day devil
On the rocky road to success
And mine to fight and master

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

Basically a good poem, I like what you are trying to say.

The second line of the first Stanza sounds good, but it doesn't really make sense, and i'm not sure what Dally means.

But apart from that an enjoyable poem.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Full name - Iboro Offong. My wife Alison, is from the UK, she lives and works in the Gambia and we have four children, two boys, two girls and the first two, mixed, are twins.

Actually, I like writing about our ways as literature coming out of ibibio - my ethnic origin - seems to be so low. It helps me to project and may be, preserve our tradition. Thank you and thank you. Best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

If the word dally had been used in the usual sense I would have known what it meant , as I have heard of the phrase don't dilly dally. But the in this case the confusion came because it doesnt make sense to me within the sentence .

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

I know the song , but fortunately i'm not old enough to remember it first hand from the Music Halls, LOL!!

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

First, thank you for your interest in this piece I was looking for words that could describe the title, please don't mind use of the word 'dally' in this instance, I was thinking of poetic license, but it seems to be a confusion. In all, your interaction with Ian has educated me on things I did not know, I take it as tutorial for my benefit. Best wishes.

tr

A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

Hi Iboro, it's been a while since I made a comment on one of your poems. Forgive me my procrastination... ;-)

I like this poem and for me shaving off some lines would detail the art of....

~A

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