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NEEDLES OF THE HEART
The smile you see on the face
A mask, like actors of old, a play
To cover sadness from lesion
Wounds inflicted by tiny needles
Of trying efforts, love not returned
Scornful glances and desertion
I am left in the open to be beaten
By rain and sun, in harsh climates
The smile, once from a healthy heart
And genuine affection keeps me on
Makes me act as in normal times
To walk erect as a man, knowing
I paid my dues, served my country
As commander of the people’s army
I stand corrected, if this is not the man
You once praised for his qualities
I woke up one morning to see you
Standing by my bedside with a cup
Ah! Blended coffee, with rich aroma
You handed it to me gently, with a kiss
Like Judas’ on the master’s cheek
Of betrayal full of minuscule needles
Unseen by eyes, the drink was good
Prickles pierced my chest with so much pain
Comments
raj
Wed, 2011-07-06 14:39
emotions bared very
emotions bared very effectively in this write...many favorite lines here...
you may want to correct a wee bit of an error in line 8 of first stanza...change "hash" to "harsh".. which i am sure is what you mean..
raj (sublime_ocean)
t. reflexion
Wed, 2011-07-06 19:36
raj
Thank you I have corrected line 8. I appreciate your comments and for stopping by. Best wishes.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light
weirdelf
Fri, 2011-07-08 04:40
I don't understand it, Trex
a correction
Like Judas’ on the master’s chick [check]
I fail to see the betrayal.
Help me.
cheers,
Jess
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t. reflexion
Fri, 2011-07-15 10:45
Hi Jess,
The betrayal is embodied in the cup of coffee containing tiny needles, meaning that the man, having fallen from his glory days, is no longer useful to the one serving the coffee with needles in an attempt to kill him. Though lines 5 and 6 of the first stanza try to hint on this, it seems not to be clear. I will add one more stanza to make this obscured view clearer. Thank you and best wishes.
tr
A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light