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WARS [ one of a series in surreal metaphor] updated

WARS

The war was done
I thought
But it hardly had begun
I lay dying in lavender fields
And fell into a sleep
Of another dreaming
Deep as any death could be
I thought
Until a daylight came
And I felt my breath
Once again

But I had dreamed
Dreams of bloodied streams
Poisoned wells in desert sands
Words meant to kill
Like weapons flying through the air
Failed crucifixions and false resurrections
The silence of dead souls
The death of Time...
Then I died into a sleep again
Deep as any death could be
I thought

Editing stage: 

Comments

Beautifully crafted poem, touches on deep imagery without transgressing into maudlin or melodrama.

My only complaint, and it is a personal peeve, you and others may not agree, is the use of the word "reality".
Of another reality
It jars to me in a poem almost as much as the word "beautiful", I can't help thinking there is a better way of saying it.

I love the dying fall of the ending.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

yes. r eality bothered me as well. see the chsnge. thanks, buddy.

joe

author comment

The poem is a fine accomplishment.
No more to say.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

You bet ! :)

author comment
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