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Paintings that Swirl
It's been more than thirty years since I gave up smoking
but I never wrote a poem about my secret craving while
draining the spaghetti, waiting for you to come home
don't have the habits no more that led to old habits
rising to the ceiling, declaring their independence,
while listening to Billy Collins read his poem
about his last best cigarette,
honestly, I hadn't given it much thought but a sigh escapes
me nonetheless as the filtered light shines the veins in the leaves
like an X-ray
and I digress to a day when it seemed to be the perfect thing to do
in a small town in New Jersey, when a carton of cigarettes was little
more than a gallon
of gasoline today, if cost is assessed
by the waterwheel of time,
I'd say I have the best of both worlds,
now was a then then and then it was a far cry
from the desert of sunflowers, Van Gogh and paintings that swirl
like smoke rings
we can not pass through
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I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
Wrote this a few days ago. All events actually happened.
Editing stage:
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Comments
CCfire
Sun, 2011-07-03 01:34
Just loving this one Ana, I
Just loving this one Ana, I too have those cravings but usually for chocolate as I've not managed to give up the fags yet lol
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
CCfire
Sun, 2011-07-03 01:48
lol nah would never do that,
lol nah would never do that, I hear ya :)
Chez
"The perfect woman perpetrates literature as she does a small sin: as an experiment, in passing, to see if anybody notices it - and to makes sure that somebody does." - Nietzsche
Roscoe Lane
Sun, 2011-07-03 02:30
Who would,
Who would have thought a poem about giving up cigarettes could be so beautifully crafted. Love Roscoe..
Roscoe Llane,
Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.
pleiades
Sun, 2011-07-03 18:57
one of your best as far as i
one of your best as far as i'm concerned
when i read the title, i immediately thought of van goghs'
"starry night" (think that's the title)
i didn't really expect there to be a nod to van gogh
in this (seeing as you're a wildheart and all) but
was really pleased to find there was a tie-in
some lines in this, gave me SERIOUS line envy;
"rising to the ceiling, declaring their independence"...
"....but a sigh escapes
me nonetheless as the filtered light shines the veins in the leaves"...
"from the desert of sunflowers, Van Gogh and paintings that swirl
like smoke rings
we can not pass through"
as i first started reading, i thought it was mainly about
giving up smoking
but as i kept reading, i was transported...and thought that
the smoking issue was a conduit for a higher meaning...
perhaps it's just me, reading more into it than was intended,
but i see it as both literal, and metaphorical
and both versions are so involving
there's such a feeling of human-ness
this is so wonderfully written...i keep reading
it..."while draining the spaghetti, waiting for
you to come home"
i LOVE these words, and the image they conjur
they have so much more meaning than just what they say...
does that make sense?
i absolutely love this poem...it's a favourite
p
raj
Sun, 2011-07-03 06:38
the fluidity and depth of the
the fluidity and depth of the write got me hooked on it so much that i had to read it again and again like chain smoking...
raj (sublime_ocean)
Kailashana2
Sun, 2011-07-03 07:44
Oh, I'm very pleased by the
Oh, I'm very pleased by the reactions to my poem. It's one of my favourites too.
However, everyone except p missed what my secret craving is. ;-)
~A
p.s. Chain-smoking poems, now there's a metaphor I may have to use.
author commentDalton
Sun, 2011-07-03 15:41
I quit smoking in 2008
I quit smoking in 2008 without looking back, save one drunken night in a backstreet pub. Demistify the little white demon. fine poem as expected from you.
John